Page 114 of Spindrift

“Afew.”

“Howoften do you talk to her?”

“Idon’t know, often?”

“Everyday, often?”

“Yes.”

“Hypothetically,”said Anna Maria, her expression carefully neutral, “how would you feel aboutall of this if you were staying?”

“Itdoesn’t matter.”

“Humorme.”

“I’dprobably ask you to stalk Kate for me and then spend the next month comparingmyself to her in every way.”

“Butwould you tell Morgan?”

Emiliadidn’t answer. She didn’thavean answer. If she and Morgan were a couple,perhaps, she’d feel obligated, but they weren’t, and hypotheticals wereextremely unhelpful in a situation that already had too many variables.

AnnaMaria gave up waiting. “Fine, don’t tell her, but if it backfires don’t say Ididn’t warn you.”

“Ijust can’t deal with anything else right now.” Her tear ducts made a renewedattempt at flooding.

“Emmy.”Anna Maria brought the phone closer to her face. “I don’t even want to say thisbecause I know how overwhelmed you are, but have you thought about staying?”

“Staying?”

“Nothingsays you have to move back to Boston. There are jobs up there, aren’t there?You could get a fresh start, and you have a house. Obviously I’d miss my freebabysitter, but you weren’t available much anyway, and you’re only three hoursaway.”

Herears rang. She wanted to chuck her phone across the room and watch it shatteragainst the stone fireplace, and she wanted Anna Maria to continue putting intowords the idea she’d been tiptoeing around for weeks.

“Youstill there?”

“I’mhere.”

“Lookedlike you froze.”

“I—”She broke off. “I have to go.”

Shehung up and stared at the living room walls. Half of her felt even moreconfused than she had in months, while the other half felt closer to claritythan she had in years.

Theclarity scared her a hell of a lot more.

Couldshe actually stay here? Was that crazy? Or was she so out of touch withnormality that she couldn’t tell the difference? She tried to picture it:living in her father’s house—her house—year-round. Mulled wine by the fire inthe winter. Sailing in the summer. Her new friends.

Morgan.

Andif things don’t work out with Morgan?she asked herself.Then you lose those new friends and you’re back to squareone.

Exceptthat wasn’t entirely true. She could always sell the house later, and what didshe have waiting for her back in Boston besides family anyway? The wildflowersshe’d picked earlier that day stood in a vase on the coffee table, glinting asthey caught the sunlight.

Couldthis still be a place where she could be happy even if things fell through withMorgan?

• • •

Doesshe know you’re in love with her?

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