Page 74 of Matched

Ander rolled back over. “We all saw that kiss, so let’s not pretend this is hypothetical.”

“When you say you caught feelings, how deep are we talking?”

Exhaling heavily, I turned to JJ. “Deep. Deeper than I realised—or maybe I did realise, but I was denying it to myself.”

“We’ve all been there,” Ander reassured me. “Our minds play tricks on us, and we end up doing things like getting a boner from kissing our best friends, not even realising said best friend caused that reaction in us.” JJ and I exchanged glances, and he grinned. “Okay, that one was probably just me. But it’s true. Our brains can convince us of all kinds of shit, no matter how irrational or untrue it actually is.”

“He’s right,” JJ said. “Speaking from my personal experience, if we can apply any of it to your situation, trying to stay away from someone when you want to be together just ends up hurting you both. I wouldn’t recommend it. Even if Killian was moving to—where’s Nate going?—we’d make it work. We love each other, and neither of us would give that up for anything.”

“Plymouth. And yeah. I know. It’s just that we agreed it would be a casual thing between us that would end when he moved away. Then I caught feelings, and—” I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “I don’t want to let him go.”

Ander swung himself upright. “Then you don’t let him go.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It can be. Talk to him.”

Me:

How’s it going over there?

Nate:

Okay. Want to talk properly?

Instead of replying, I hit the Video Call button.

Nate’s face filled the screen, tired but happy to see me. “Hi.”

“Hi. How’s the hotel?”

“Quiet now everyone’s gone. I’m meeting my lecturer and touring my accommodation tomorrow morning, so I was meant to be having an early night. I can’t sleep, though.”

“Me neither.” I rolled onto my side, propping my phone up on my pillow next to me. “Can we talk when you get back?”

He nodded instantly. “I wanted to ask you the same thing. I’ll probably be back late tomorrow, but we can sort it out for Tuesday. Are you working?”

“Nope. I’ve got lectures until three, but I’m free after that, or we can even meet up at lunchtime.”

“We’ll sort it out when I get back.” He smiled at me. Would it ever stop giving me fucking butterflies? “Are you in bed already?”

“Not yet. Just been lying down watching videos on my phone.”

“Speaking of videos, Travis’ girlfriend took a video of the end of the match, and she caught our pitch celebrations. Want me to send it to you?”

“Video evidence of our kiss? Yeah, okay. Send it over. It’s a poor substitute for the real thing, but it’ll do for now.”

Nate’s smile disappeared. “I miss you, Charlie B.”

“I miss you, too. It’s not like…I know we don’t see each other every single day now, but when you’re here, I know wecansee each other whenever, even if it’s just a quick passing thing while I’m working or—” I cut myself off when I noticed his downcast expression, suddenly realising what I was saying. “Fuck. Sorry. I don’t…I’m not trying to complain or make you feel bad. When you’ve moved to Plymouth?—”

“Hey. I know,” he said softly. “We’ll talk about it when I get back, okay? I’d already planned to.”

“Okay.”

All I could do now was wait and hope we could work something out. I wasn’t ready to give up on Nate Glover.

33

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