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Later…when we’d be in the car travelling back to our hometown for the weekend and I’d have to hear Sophie talking about Charlie…

I gritted my teeth as I walked away, stopping out of sight in the first stacks I came to so I could regain my composure. Why seeing them together was affecting me so much, I had no clue.

I ignored that small, insistent voice in my head that was trying to tell me something. I’d had enough practice in suppressing it over the years, after all.

Sophie’s voice carried over the low murmur of conversation around the library. “Older brothers. Right?”

“Right.” That was her friend Daisy’s voice. “It’s sweet that they want to look out for you, but they don’t always seem to understand that we’re adults now, and we can be trusted to know our own minds.”

Fuck. I was ahorriblebrother. My sister and her friends thought I was there looking out for her, but instead, I was—I was— I wasn’t anything. No. I was just looking out for her. Like a good brother should.

My dad lowered his mug, placing it on the kitchen table with a soft thunk. “Okay. Now we’re all caught up on what’s happeningwith your degrees…is there anything or anyone new in your lives? Anything you want to share with me?”

I glanced over at Sophie, who was smiling shyly down at her empty mug, and I bit the inside of my cheek, hard. Self-loathing and jealousy—no, not jealousy, but whatever that other feeling was—churned in my stomach. I grabbed my glass of water, downing the contents in an effort to stop the sudden nausea. I wished it was something stronger.

“There’s a boy I like. It’s… Nothing’s happened except for us grabbing coffee a couple of times, but I think he might be interested. He’s really nice?—”

“How did you meet him?” My dad’s gaze flicked to mine. “Do you know about this, Nate?”

My sister sighed. “Dad, Nate’s already played the overprotective big brother once this week. I don’t need it from you, too.”

“Oi, less of your cheek.” He grinned at her before leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest. “Go on, then, tell me about him.”

“He’s a first-year student, same as me. Um…I actually met him through Nate, to answer your question about whether Nate knows about him. He’s studying sport and exercise science and had to train with the football team for one of his assignments.” She glanced over at me with a smile and returned her attention to my dad, her eyes sparkling as she sang Charlie’s praises. “I think you’d like him. He’s really into football, and he supports Glevum, same as us.”

My dad nodded approvingly. “Good man. What else?”

“Um…let me see. He’s working two jobs to send money home to support his family. Isn’t that sweet? He works so hard, Dad.”

I prayed that no one would ask me to contribute to this conversation because I couldn’t fucking speak.I’d managed to avoid any Charlie-related conversations on the journey up,thanks to Sophie finishing an assignment ready for Monday and then taking a nap.

“You’ve always been sensible. If he has our Nate’s approval, I’ll say nothing more. Just…don’t make me a grandad yet, okay?”

“Dad!” Sophie’s cheeks flamed. “Please. As if I would.”

“Sorry,” he said unapologetically. “You know my thoughts on that. I want you to make the most of uni so you can get the best start in the world, okay?” When she nodded, he smiled and then turned to me. “Nate. Do you approve of this Charlie?”

Brown hair and bright green eyes flashed through my mind, accompanied by a cheeky grin. I managed a nod, which was enough for my dad, and I saw Sophie’s entire body relax. She reached over to squeeze my arm, mouthing,Thanks.Self-loathing roiled through me again.

I had to get out of there.

“Is that the time?” Both Sophie and my dad stared at me, brows raised at the hoarseness in my tone. Clearing my throat, I tried again. “The meal’s at seven. I need to shower.”

Thankfully, they both bought my excuse. My dad stood and began clearing the empty mugs and glasses from the table while Sophie loaded the dishwasher, and I fled, like the coward I was.

9

My cousin Renée’s twenty-first birthday should’ve been a celebratory occasion. It was the reason Sophie and I had come back to Swindon for the weekend, after all. We had a table for eighteen booked in a local restaurant, and after the meal, my cousin and Sophie were meeting up with some of their friends to go to a club. They’d invited me to join them, but the last thing I needed was to be surrounded by the single friends of my sister and cousin, drunk and probably flirting with me.

Fuck, maybe thatwaswhat I needed.I wasn’t going to do it, though.

“Look. There he is, training with the football team.”

“Whoa! He’shot, Soph.”

My gaze snapped to Sophie and Renée, their heads bent together, studying Sophie’s phone.

“I know. He invited me to go out with him tonight, but because I was coming here, he said we’d do something when I got back instead.”

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