Page 50 of Knocked-up Bratva Bride
Putting it bluntly, I’d survived on planet earth for twenty-two years without succumbing to the pressure to sleep with boys in high school and college. I kept my virginity intact, and at the sight of the first rogue-looking foreign man I met in a nightclub, after three meetings, I literally spread my legs and allowed him to take me.
Oh, and might I add, that wasafterI found out he was my best friend’s father.
Who would celebrate such a thing?
I was practically family—like her sister. She would have expected me to treat her dad with respect and to view him as she did. Plus, they weren’t even on the best of terms. Any complication involving our intimacy would only worsen things.
I wasn’t going to lie; a part of me felt a wave of relief at the thought of Katya accepting oursituationship.The thought of being with Damien freely and out of the shadows was by far liberating. Iwantedit. Too badly.
But he obviously didn’t know Katya as well as I did. When with her some days, it was like talking and laughing with a ticking time bomb; she could go off at any time, or even over the minutest things.
He didn’t understand. Maybe he couldn’t. And part of me still resented that—resentedhoweasily he could walk away from it all. From her.
But that was no longer my primary concern anymore. I had spreadsheets to fill and a bulk of other work to finish.
I clenched my jaw, moved from the spreadsheet to respond to emails, and focused on the next email, typing faster, harder. My fingers moved with the mechanical purpose of chasing deadlines I didn’t honestly care about and goals I couldn’t name.
But I loved working, more especially after the accident. I needed a distraction, and Luxe Nest presented itself with open arms.
I took a breath and exhaled slowly, my hand tightening around the edge of my desk. The world outside the window kept moving, cars snaking along the wet roads, people chasing purpose. And here I was, floating through my own life like a ghost.
People said time would help, that it healed all wounds. But all time had done was sharpen the ache and hollowness burrowing deeper in my chest. And I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep pretending that work was enough to outrun it.
I closed the spreadsheet.
I needed air. Or maybe, I just needed to feel something that wasn’t guilt.
I grabbed my second cup of coffee and started skimming through a draft campaign plan when Robert stepped into my office without knocking.
“Conference room in ten minutes. Bring the analytic summary and the campaign plan,” he said.
There was no familiar smile on his face, just that calm, unreadable tone he always used when he was all business. I nodded out of obligation, not willingness, because while I wanted everything that wouldn’t remind me of guilt, I was in this very office, having to face Robert every single day.
“Got it,” I said, trying to match his professionalism.
He lingered by the door, and I should have known he didn’t come all the way down to my office just to inform me about the meeting. His eyes flicked over the stack of papers on my desk before settling on me again.
“Elena….” His voice was lower now. “We still haven’t talked about what happened at that party.”
My stomach tightened, and the coffee on my tongue tasted like vinegar. I knew exactly what he meant. That kiss, more than a month ago, at Katya’s birthday party. I’d done it intentionally to spite Damien, and guess who had to bear the brunt of such a decision?
Me.
It had been brief, unplanned, and wrong.
I looked up at him, trying to keep my expression neutral, though all I wanted to do was cry. “Robert….”
He held up a hand, stopping me. “I told you I won’t push you, and I meant it. I just…I would like to know where we stand. Before this…awkwardness becomes permanent.”
His voice wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t warm either. Just honest. And it hurt more than anything.
“Robert, I’m sorry. I haven’t talked about it or brought it up because I’ve had a long time to consider your interest in me.” I knotted my fingers, taking a deep breath. “I think I want that interest to remain work-related. I love working with you and for you, and there are so many other things I—”
“You aren’t attracted to me. You don’t have feelings for me. You can’t view me as anything else in your life other than your boss. It’s okay, Elena. I get it. No hard feelings. I cannot force you to accept me. As for the position I offered you during dinner, it’s still available. Though not for much longer. I hear Susan’s working on a great pitch for the board. Seems she has her eyes on the seat as well.”
After he left, the silence that lingered settled heavily over the office.
I stared at the door for a long moment, ignoring my pounding heart.
