Page 30 of Crescendo

Well, then I definitely would.

As I went to walk back to the music room, Clara stopped me, keeping her voice low. “Are you doing okay?”

The shame that shot through me was like needles, poking me from the inside out. I was aware everyone knew, everyone had seen me in class, but the acknowledgement of it, hearing her talk about it burned like bile. I’d never been so bad in a class in my life. I shouldn’t have been this bad.

I mentally pressed down through my body into the ground, attempting to shove the feelings away. “I’m fine. Yeah.”

She nodded, readily putting the subject away, and I felt relief and gratitude rush through me. Lydia pushing was one thing, I didn’t think I’d be able to handle it if Clara did too.

We walked towards the door through which the sound of the others was filtering. I couldn’t say I was surprised to hear the conversation flowing readily—I knew my friends—but that didn’t make it any less terrifying. Alisha knew how to be discreet, but between Lydia and Sian, I couldn’t guarantee they weren’t saying ridiculously embarrassing things about me.

They all looked at me as I came in, Bansi already having replaced us at the piano. He was a soothing presence to be around, always so happy and so enthusiastic. Technically, he was still learning, but helovedthe music so much, and you could see and hear that in everything he did.

“So,” I said, a little awkwardly, “you’ve all done your introductions?”

“Nope,” Lydia said with a big smile, but there was something loaded in her eyes when she looked at me, like she hadn’t quite moved on from our moment together either. “We thought it was polite to wait for you.”

“Did you?” I glanced at Sian and Alisha. The former was wearing a similar grin to Lydia, the latter, an amused, knowing look.

They’d both have questions for me later. Ones I definitely didn’t want to answer.

Lydia hummed and stepped a little closer to me. “So, go ahead.”

I shot her a look. “Fine.” I moved my hand around, gesturing to each of them as I said their names, finishing with, “Everyone, meet everyone.”

Clara looked amused by the tension in the room, but I could have hugged her when she had the tact to say, “We were going to head out to the pub down the street for some food. Fancy joining us?”

“Yeah, I could definitely eat,” Alisha said. A nice, normal answer.

Sian, however, lit up. “Oh, Idefinitelywant to come. Let’s go.”

I was going to kill her. Or die. Or die and then come back to murder her.

Lydia laughed and I could see exactly how those two were going to get along. I could also only imagine the undercurrent that had passed through their conversation before I made it back to the room to supervise them.

We did, however, make it down to the pub—the one we’d had our welcome breakfast at—without incident. Sian and Alisha asked questions about the programme, and, while they were both clearly worried about me, they hid it well, and, by the time we were ordering, I was starting to feel less like everyone was watching me, waiting for me to fall apart.

As seemed to be my default these days, I’d planned to sit next to Lydia, hadn’t even really thought about it. But, when Alisha and Sian flanked me to the table, it had hit me that Lydia had been my target.

She ended up sitting directly across from me, and I couldn’t decide whether that was better or not. I liked the feeling of her sitting next to me, the comfort of her being there. I’d liked the press of her against me as we played together… But I’d also liked the way she’d looked at me, I’d liked looking into those electric blue eyes. And, sitting across from her, looking into them was easy. Every time I looked up, she was what I found.

Lydia was the prettiest woman I’d ever seen. Of course, for the last four years, I hadn’t been interested in dating, hadn’t noticed anyone. I hadn’t been planning to notice her, either, but here we were. Me, watching her soft, plump lips as they stretched over perfect teeth while she laughed at something Bansi had said.

Alisha cleared her throat quietly but pointedly. I blushed and looked at her, seeing it written across her face. She knew exactly what I’d been thinking.

She glanced around the table, noting that everyone else was absorbed in conversation, and subtly adjusted her posture so the hand she was leaning on obscured her mouth. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that,” she breathed.

“Not now,” I whispered back urgently.

She laughed quickly before settling into a smirk as she watched Lydia speak.

I knew exactly how long it had been. Medicine was busy, but not busy enough to stop people falling in… lust, mostly, in my experience. Sometimes love, but mostly lust.

But, when we’d lost Callum, I’d put all of that away—along with everything else. It had been better that way.

I just hadn’t really thought about how Alisha and Sian had been tracking all of those things, too. They’d stuck with me through a lot of changes and now, here they were, sitting right in the middle of Crescendo and Lydia and new friends. And, as much as that terrified me, it felt right, too.

“So, what do you do, Alisha?” Clara asked. Her large glasses reflected the ring of lightbulbs on the Middle Ages inspired chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

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