“So, how’d you scare off Ella, anyway?”
“Apparently the classes were what scared her off. All I did was, I think, make things worse by asking her what was bothering her and telling her she can trust me.”
“Americans always miss cues… I’d wager she was telling you loud and clear to leave her alone without actually saying it.”
“No, she was actually saying it, too. But I’m really stubborn and annoying.”
She laughed. “Well, at least you own it.”
“It’s just…” I sank back in my seat with a sigh. “I know something is eating at her. Every time she sees the clarinet case, every time she sits down at the piano, every time I try to talk music theory, it’s this… thisthingon her face, in her eyes. Like it’s so much more than she can carry. And she’ll never get anywhere if she doesn’t talk to someone about it.”
She smiled wryly. “And you’re the one to save the day and fix it for her, then, are you?”
“I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t at least try. I’m sure you’ve had something like that, too, haven’t you?”
Clara arched an eyebrow at me, shifting her position now—facing me at an angle, defensive, one arm drawn over her front. “Something like what, then? Where I’m trying to save the day for someone?”
“You notice a lot about everyone around you. Very… perceptive. I won’t believe you if you try telling me that doesn’t come from somewhere, something that’s made you feel like you have to notice, see things in your surroundings…”
She made a face. “You’re really quite nosy, aren’t you?”
“Mm, indeed.”
“Only the first day of class and you’ve managed to make things hostile with your flatmate with this kind of approach, so your answer is to double down on it with other people, too.”
“More or less.”
“You’re impossible,” she laughed, going back to her curry. “But I suppose you aren’t wrong. We’ve probably all had something like that, something to make us think we’ve got to be the ones to step in and do something. But Ella’s not your responsibility.”
“No,” I said. “But she’s my friend. And I want to be there for my friends.” I paused when Clara looked up at me, one eyebrow raised, and I said, “You too, you know. If something were weighing on your mind, I’d want to know.”
She studied me a second longer before she went with a slight smile back to her food. “Americans are so forward.”
“All part of our charm.”
“Just give Ella some time. Maybe you’re right that sometimes you’ve got to push, but there’s still plenty of time. No sense in wasting all that time by getting her to wall off already.”
“Hm. Maybe you’re right,” I said, going with a heavy posture back to my food. “I’m not used to minding my own business, but I’ll do what I can.”
“It’s charming, anyway. Hate to admit it, but you’re kind of hard not to like, in some way.”
I laughed. “What a glowing compliment.”
“No wonder Ella and Eliza are each of them just about tripping over themselves to get to you. Here I’d thought it was just that you were famous, but maybe you’ve got a bit of charm in there too. You attract all the girls who have too many issues to properly flirt with you, don’t you?”
“I don’t know if either of them is actually interested in women. I just like to rankle people.”
Clara snorted. “The way Ella looks at you? That is not heterosexual behavior. Same for Eliza, but I don’t think you’d even be interested in her.”
“Oh, but I would be in Ella?” I huffed, pretending I wasn’t a little bit shaken by the idea. If Ella actually was interested in women—interested inme—I’d never been one for self-control around a beautiful woman with musical talent. Clara smiled dryly.
“You tell me, Lydia Howard Fox.”
“Not you too, Clara. I thought you were the only one I could count on to not whip that out like it’s an invocation.”
She laughed. “Ella’s not half-bad, you know. You could do worse.”
I shook my head. “If you want her, go for it. I live in LA. I’m not doing anything with a girl here.”