Page 141 of Crescendo

Ella

When I’d signed up for Crescendo, I’d been ready to feel things again. What I hadn’t been counting on was feelingeverything. But, here we were.

My dads were already waiting outside the Royal Albert Hall when I arrived with Sian and Alisha. They were both already crying, taking pictures of the building and the crowds arriving, and, honestly, I felt like I was one word away from joining them.

How on earth did you process the fact that a piece you wrote was about to be played to an enormous audience in a proper concert hall? Real, actual musicians. A professional conductor. And an audience of music lovers. Something I’d written was opening a night of actual music, from an actual composer.

Ordinarily, I didn’t get this nervous, but, on a regular day, something I composed wasn’t being played in the Royal Albert Hall. I was going to throw up.

And, as if that wasn’t already enough, there was Lydia. Flying in from California just to see this.

I hated that she hadn’t been able to get an earlier flight. There was so much to say that a moment alone together was desperately needed, but, who was I kidding? Lydia loved to make an entrance. Arriving just in the nick of time was very her. Flying in from LA for a fancy concert… The jet-set lifestyle.

Papa sobbed in greeting and pulled me into a tight hug. “Our baby girl. We’re so,soproud of you.”

“We really are,” Dad said, stroking my hair. “Can you believe it? Our daughter at the Royal Albert Hall?”

“She’s a star, of course I can.”

Sian and Alisha laughed in agreement, but I felt like the floor was moving as I stepped back. There were so many people. And no sign of Lydia.

“Ella!” a voice called.

I turned to see Hannah elbowing her way through the crowd, her hand gripping Eliza’s tightly. Clara, Bansi, and Dodge followed after them, all grinning widely.

I smiled but chewed my lip as they cycled through hugging me excitedly. Seeing them was wonderful, of course, but I’d enjoy it more once the show was over and I knew whether I needed to die of embarrassment or not.

Since returning to work, we’d only managed one get-together with everyone there, but there was an active group chat, so, even when I was working, I still felt connected to them. I hadn’t been expecting it, but being part of Crescendo had given me a group of friends I’d desperately needed.

And I was working on the free time thing. Arundhati and I had been discussing the logistics, but she was just as eager for me to live life and be happy as everyone else around me.

I’d been missing music and composing more than I’d realised I would—and I’d thought it would be a lot. I still loved medicine, but Arundhati and I both knew I needed a better balance in life. When my messages with Lydia had becomemore… frequent and intimate, something like dating without really naming it, I’d finally figured out what had to give. Hannah had been right a month ago, on the steps of a South Ken apartment that had changed my life. I had to find a way to do both, to have it all, but, mostly, to make it work with Lydia and my two professional loves. So, I’d run the idea of being a permanent locum by Arundhati. Six months out of the year, leaving six months to compose. It was messy, but so was life. And it was testament to how unwell I’d been before Crescendo that she’d immediately said she’d do whatever it took to make it work.

“We should get inside,” Dodge said, cutting through the excited chatter around me and gesturing to where Olivia was waving us over.

Even through the nerves, I couldn’t help but smile at her glittery, music themed shoes. Lydia was going to hate them.

I glanced around again, wobbling slightly as the crowd blurred.

“You doing okay?” Clara asked, sounding a little amused.

“Lydia’s not here yet.” I pulled my phone out, checking for a message.

“She’ll be here,” Eliza said, shooting me a serious look. “Come on, we’ll save her a seat.”

“Yeah, she knows I’d deck her if she missed it,” Hannah added with a laugh.

They huddled around me like an entourage, escorting me inside. It felt excessive but nice, like their presence was the only thing keeping me upright.

As I watched Bansi cling to Papa, both of them gushing and teary with excitement, Dad wrapped an arm around my waist. “You doing okay, kiddo?”

I laughed hysterically. “Not at all.”

He squeezed me tighter. “You deserve this, Ella. Your name, up in lights.”

“I don’t think my name is anywhere in lights.”

“You know what I mean.” He rolled his eyes fondly, holding me up as we entered the auditorium and it felt like being hit by a bus.

---