Page 118 of Crescendo

“Just kinda wondering whether to anticipate the left hook or the right one.”

“Treat her well or I will fucking kill you.”

“It’s a promise, okay, I swear.”

Guess that was the pesky thing about friendships as old as Melinda’s and mine. Had to stick with them even when they were dating your actual, literal, biological daughter. I stepped back from the hug, taking a long breath, standing up taller. “Good,” I said. “Damn, you’re even shorter than I remembered. You two sure you’re good dating? You don’t need someone who can reach the top shelves?”

Melinda grinned. “Nah. I can’t stand tall girls. Too full of themselves, running off around the world on some goofy-assinspiration questand abandoning them halfway through to run home unexpectedly…”

“Is that true of a lot of tall girls?”

She laughed. “Get in the fucking car, dude. You look exhausted.”

Natália spoke up. “Also, I just climb on the counters.”

Melinda hung her head. “Yeah, she does do that…”

We argued for a minute over who got to ride shotgun—I told Melinda in no uncertain terms that if she was going to date Natália then she wasnotshoving her in the backseat like an accessory, but Natália told me I was the one exhausted from a transcontinental flight and also that I was almost a foot taller than she was, and the dispute was eventually settled when Natália installed herself in the backseat and refused to move, and Melinda would have crashed the car to spite me if I’d sat in the back too and left the passenger seat unoccupied, so I grudgingly let Natália have this one, sitting up front and resting my head back against the seat. The two of them chattered on the whole drive back to my house—industry gossip, personal life updates, silly drama, the shows they’d been watching lately, Natália’s new Zumba class that was probably going to get abandoned in two weeks like all her random rotating fixations, only to get picked up again with newfound vigor four months from now. All these things I’d once known like the back of my hand, suddenly like I was seeing it all for the first time.

And I was uncomfortably aware of being the third wheel here. They deliberately kept down this energy between them, but it was still obvious between the two of them… finishing each other’s sentences. Ella and I had done that too. How corny was that? Like a heavy-handedhappy coupleshorthand in a film.

I bet she’d have loved being in the car with us like this, talking to the two of them. Natália would lose her mind, grill her on every imaginable detail of doctor life.

Once the conversation had slowed down a little, with Melinda focused on traffic as we got into the city proper, I found myself looking at my phone, pulling up my text contact with Ella, against my better judgment. It felt impossible not to text her, not to say anything, but… saying anything felt impossible.

We’d said goodbye. Surely that was it. What would happen if we stayed in touch? Just the two of us constantly longing for each other? Or, worse, just me constantly longing for her while she moved on?

Maybe I should have at least let her know I’d gotten here safely. Maybe at least communicated this much and worked out what we were supposed to do now, what we were supposed to feel now. But I couldn’t work out how to word it, couldn’t make myself type it, and when Natália asked me something about the other Crescendo program attendees, I wound up slipping the phone away, vowing to leave it.

Once we got back to the house, Melinda parked along the tree-shaded street in the front, turning to me across the center console with a strained smile. “Here we are,” she said. “So, do you want us to bring you dinner or something, or do you just want us to let you sleep right away?”

I shook my head, swallowing against the lump in my throat. “We’ve got work to do,” I said, looking back at Natália. Melinda made a sound in her throat.

“Work? Dude, you just flew across eight time zones and you look like you’re going to pass out, cry, scream, throw up, maybe all at the same time.”

“I know. That’s why I need to get to work already. Natália? Shall we get to this title theme?”

Melinda shot her a look. “Natália, you can talk sense into her better than I can.”

Natália looked at her, and back at me, lingering on my gaze, before she sat up taller. “Let’s do the title theme.”

“Natália,” Melinda pleaded, and Natália gave her puppy-dog eyes.

“It’s what she needs, Meli.”

I shrugged with a small, sad smile at Melinda. “Sorry, dude. Mother-daughter alliance wins out.”

Melinda put a hand to her forehead. “Dude, she is not your daughter.”

Natália’s jaw dropped. “Meli.How could you say that to my literal, biological mother?”

Melinda threw her hands up. “God, I don’t know why I try. Fine! I’ll hang around and make sure you two aren’t working yourselves to death.”

“You’re the best,” Natália said, reaching forward and embracing Melinda tightly, and I tried not to experience murderous intent when Natália gave her a big cheek kiss.She’s twenty-six years oldwas suddenly my mantra. Natália wasnotstill a young and impressionable girl straight out of college and out of her element in the US.

Still, if there was ever a good reason for me to stay in LA, it was to make sure Melinda didn’t take advantage of my literal, biological daughter.

Natália and I got inside, while Melinda went to grab food, and the sight of my own house felt strange, alien, even though my feet still instinctively knew the way around. Was this supposed to be how home felt? I didn’t concentrate on it—just led Natália up to the music room, where we wasted no time in opening Logic and diving into the main theme. Natália’s work was brilliant, a mastery of rhythm and storytelling via timing, but we dug into the backing track on the DAW and brought in a drum sampler, breaking down out of the main line and into a heavily effected post-rock style, a modern beat building up from it. It gave me chills listening to it come together, that sensationwhere I knew we had something incredible in our hands and all we had to do was not mess it up.

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