Page 126 of Crescendo

“Ella. Get out.”

“On it,” I laughed, rushing to leave the room and them alone.

Chapter 27

Lydia

I slept in.

My head was throbbing as I found myself squinting against harsh daylight pouring in through the windows. The door through to the music room was open… I groaned, reaching onto the nightstand for my phone. Not there, of course. I’d left it in the music room, working until three in the morning when my body decided for me that I couldn’t go one second longer.

Well, today was a new day. Rests were for musical notation. I dragged myself out of bed, feet hitting the floor and focusing on putting one in front of the other, stumbling through to the next room to pick up my phone, rubbing my eyes against the sunlight streaming in through the windows. Eleven o’clock. A message from Natália saying she was meeting with one of the producers this morning and that she’d fill me in. I felt like the whole world had been passing me by, which served me right for sleeping.

But none of that really mattered. What mattered, breaking through into my consciousness like the light through the blinds, was a message from Ella.

I should have sent this earlier. I hope it’s good to be home and composing is going well!And then below it, a couple minutes later, like an afterthought,I miss you.

A nice, polite tone. Like casual friends, coworkers, acquaintances,hope this email finds you well.Maybe it was for the best that way. If the only interaction Ella wanted with me was a cool, measured message sent days after the fact, that made it easier to step away.

I’d already heard her song a million times. She knew that full well, and I could only imagine that was why she was sending it as an afterthought now. Not that I could claim to be any better.

I’d never really gone around thinking I was outright incapable of healthy love before, but suddenly all of this felt like a million needles prickling me with everything I did, and with everything having fallen apart with Ella, I didn’t want to try anymore. Me and my music. Melinda and Natália had found love happy with each other, and I had found love happy with my art.

But somehow, despite it all, despite knowing Ella was out there moving on, despite knowing that she’d listened to the song so many times already and that this finished one was just a formality—despite everything, I slipped on my headphones, and I sat in the corner of the couch, wearing rumpled day clothes from yesterday, and I hit play on the song.

And that was how I found out I hadn’t heard the damn song at all. I’d heard most of it, but she’d… she’d given it a little sweetening. A live recording of one instrument on top.

She’d played the clarinet.

I laughed, thickly, tears stinging at my eyes, as I listened to it once, and then a second time through. She… well, she wasn’t an audio engineer. She hadn’t set up the recording perfectly. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she’d just recorded it in the music room at the apartment.

But even with that, it was beautiful. Gave the piece a whole new dimension, making it hit like a punch to the gut, and I curled up on the couch, listening to it through, and then—dammit, I had things to do, but I played it back a third time too, hanging onto every note of the clarinet.

Her dads weren’t kidding. She really did know how to play that damn thing.

Was I that bad? She dealt with the grief and the trauma keeping her from touching it for four years, and the second I left,thenshe could play it. I left LA and two seconds later, Melinda finally got a girlfriend. I was some kind of good luck charm, just only when I was walking out of the room.

I wasn’t going to take it too personally.

Once the song finished, I hovered over the text chat, trying to figure out what to say.It’s beautifulwasn’t enough.I love youwas too much. I guess there was no winning.

I hit the call button instead. I didn’t know what kind of monster called someone without texting first, but I guess I did. It almost rang out before Ella picked up, and my heart jumped at the sound of her voice, breathless down the line. “Lydia?” she said.

“As if it would be someone else?”

She paused. “I wouldn’t rule out Natália stealing your phone to call me.”

“Okay, you know? That’s actually a very good point.” I curled up tighter into the corner of the sofa, hugging my knees into my chest, and I tried to piece together the haze of wild, chaotic thoughts in my head into words. Eventually, what came out had all the elegance and lithe grace of a brick to the face. “You played the clarinet.”

Ella was quiet for the longest time down the line before, softly, “I gave it my best shot, at least.”

I laughed, a wet sound. “It certainly wasn’t the worst I’ve heard.”

“Lydia…”

“You’re a damn genius, you know that?” I said softly. “Here I thought I was good, but you?”

“Do not blow it out of proportion, now,” Ella laughed thickly.

---