Page 73 of Finally Loved

Alba shook her head, sighing. “You’re angry at her for not wanting you, for the fact that she wouldn’t have sex with you, so you decided that, because she doesn’t want sex, she’s a child and you get to keep the keys to her life?”

Charlie’s nostrils flared. She glared at Alba but didn’t speak.

“That’s disgusting. And manipulative. And aphobic. Sort yourself and your life out, Charlie, and leave Neve alone.”

“You’re no better than me if you’re telling me I’m not allowed near her.”

Alba paused in the middle of taking a step away from her. “I’m not the one telling you to stay away from her. She’s doing that all by herself. She’s an adult, Charlie, capable of making those decisions for herself. And me? Well, I’m the one respecting her decisions and following her lead.”

Alba walked away, leaving Charlie standing there. Of all the things she’d been expecting, it hadn’t been that. With the way Charlie had made zero effort to contact Neve, she’d never have imagined Charlie showing up to talk to her instead. Nor had she had any decent read on the dynamic between them. She wondered whether Neve even knew the reason behind it all.

She wondered if Alice did.

And what was Charlie hoping for? That Neve would one day change her mind and want Charlie? That Neve’s sexuality would change? Or that her decisions would? Did Charlie imagine herself so special that she’d be the one person in the world Neve would have sex willingly with? She’d made it perfectly clear shewasn’t demisexual. And she’d made it perfectly clear she would never want sex with anyone, no matter how much she loved them.

Neve didn’t need Charlie, or Roxanne, or anyone else who thought she just needed convincing. She needed someone who loved that she was asexual, who understood all that it meant to her and her life, and who didn’t want to change a single second of it.

Alba was almost back to the doors when Charlie called her name again, a little more desperate this time. She sighed and stopped, turning slowly to face her. “What?”

“She’s moving out, isn’t she?” This was a much more pathetic version of Charlie than Alba had been facing off with mere moments ago.

Alba shrugged. “Whether she is or not isn’t my place to discuss. I don’t know why you aren’t getting this, but Neve is an adult who isn’t in need of a minder who makes all of her decisions for her.”

“Can you just ask her to stay? We can work this out, I know we can. We’ve been friends too long.”

“Charlie, please get this into your head, I’m not telling her anything from you. I am not your messenger, and I have no interest in being involved in whatever you’re trying to do to her. If you want to talk to her, grow up, realize who she really is, and ask if she’s willing to talk to you. By text or email.Do notambush her. But, as far as I can see, you’re the one who burned those bridges. If I were her, I’d never speak to you again.”

“I care about her.”

“No, you really don’t.”

“I’ve cared about her for longer than you know.”

“Find a therapist, Charlie. Do yourself, Alice, and any other friends you have in your life a favor, and find a therapist.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me.”

She shot Charlie a look. “I want you to think through all of your actions and decide whether you really think that’s true.”

“I—”

“Bye, Charlie. I don’t want to see you here again.” Alba turned and entered her building, leaving Charlie alone outside the door. She wasn’t entirely sure what Charlie’s next move was, but she knew hers. She wasn’t going to be Charlie’s messenger, but she wasn’t going to decide which information about her own life Neve was and was not allowed to hear. As hard as it was going to be, Neve deserved to know what Charlie was doing.

Chapter 21

Neve collapsed backwards onto Alba’s bed. It had been a weird couple of weeks.

The familiar scent of Alba’s laundry detergent wafted up around her, soothing, welcoming. At this point, it felt like coming home. Her actual home filled her with tension and panic. When she was here, she just got to be herself and be happy. Even the slight, unresolved tension of what was going on between herself and Alba—that they seemed to be resolutely not discussing—didn’t hamper how wonderful it was to be here.

Olive’s words and the activities she’d set Neve to be working on echoed in her head again. Maybe she was allowed to want Alba, even if she didn’t want sex. Maybe she was right to trust her instincts that Alba wasn’t going to hurt or manipulate her like others had.

She shook the thought off and tapped the letter she was holding against her stomach. She shouldn’t have been worrying about Alba when she had bigger fish to fry.

“You okay?” Alba asked, standing at the foot of the bed, leaning her knees into it.

“Yeah, sorry. I know we’re leaving soon. I just need a minute.”

Alba smiled and picked up Neve’s feet, holding them against her stomach. Her orange socks clashed horribly with Alba’s shirt.

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