Page 7 of Finally Loved

Maybe that was just what it was like when you were slightly out of step with something others felt was the pinnacle of human existence. She wished she knew what it felt like. Sort of. It was complicated.

“Hey,” said a soft voice from the doorway behind her.

Neve jumped, whirling in a panic like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t. “Charlie. Jesus. Hi.”

Charlie looked around exaggeratedly. “Didn’t realize I’d brought the big guy with me.”

“What?” It took a minute. “Oh. Right. Sorry.”

Charlie smiled. It was very almost her ordinary smile, but, just under the surface, Neve could feel it: pity, concern. Judgment?

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Neve said, turning back to the microwave and stopping it before its loud beeps could sound. “Just woke up famished.”

“I was still awake. Just reading, you know?”

“Ah, of course.” Neve nodded as she pulled her food out of the microwave. Charlie was a voracious reader who’d never met a queer book she didn’t like. Both Neve and Alice were waiting for the day she didn’t like one, because no person could like every single book they ever read, but so far, Charlie defied both them and logic. “What was it tonight?”

“Ahh, a riveting tale of lady pirates, hidden treasure, mistaken identities, and a very sexy little scene out on deck…”

Neve frowned. “Orgy, or just the thrill of getting caught?”

Charlie laughed. “The thrill. Though, if the author wants to work in a whole crew orgy, that’d be hot.”

“You should email them that feedback.”

“I’ll consider it.”

Neve felt Charlie’s eyes on her as she sat down at the little kitchen table. She knew what was coming, but she wished it wasn’t. Neve didn’t know the book they were talking about, but she’d offer to let Charlie read the entire thing aloud to her before she’d pick being questioned—

“So, Roxanne.”

There it was.

Neve swallowed a mouthful of food a little too quickly, a little too hot. The burn was unpleasant but manageable. She wasn’t sure she’d say the same about hearing Roxanne’s name. “Indeed.”

Perhaps she should have been more grateful that one of the two people in her life who actually knew about Roxanne was willing to talk about it with her. She couldn’t quite find that gratitude, though.

“You wanna talk about it?” Charlie asked.

“Absolutely not.”

“But…”

Neve sighed. “But, indeed.”

“Did you call it off or did she?”

Neve narrowed her eyes, watching Charlie as she leaned against the door frame in her tank top and shorts. “I don’t usually pack a weekend bag to go break up with someone. In fact, I don’t think most people do.”

Charlie laughed appreciatively. “Okay, fair point. Though, in my defense, most people don’t ask you to pack one for that either…”

Neve gulped, praying the burning in her eyes away. Her whole face felt puffy, her insides raw, and she hated how most of it felt like she was upset and angry with herself, not Roxanne. “Yes, well, turns out, sometimes, people ask you to pack a bag, take you to Best Buy, and dump you in the aisles, but hey, whatever works for them.”

Charlie worked hard to suppress her grimace. It didn’t work well, but at least she tried.

Neve stared at her, shocked at her own bitterness. Was being angry and bitter better or worse than being heartbroken and sobbing?

Charlie finally walked into the kitchen and collapsed into the chair opposite Neve. “You’re handling it better than I would have if she’d dumped me in a Best Buy. Must have been an awkward ride home.”

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