Page 68 of Finally Loved

“It’s not a pattern.”

“Li—”

“That’s enough.” Zainab groaned. “I can’t like them.”

“But you already do.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Alba bounced her fork against her lip. Zainab had been surprisingly scant on details about them, even if they had come up multiple times, so she couldn’t place what the problem would be. Although, she wouldn’t put it past Zainab for it to simply be that she was stubborn and didn’t want to like them. As if attraction remotely worked that way.

Perhaps it was easier to believe that when you weren’t the one being attracted to someone inconvenient.

“Because. Because because.”

Alba laughed. “Becauseisn’t actually a reason. You do know that, right? You’re kind of required to name whatever comes after the because in order for it to make sense.”

Zainab groaned. “Can’t you just fill in the blanks?”

“Ordinarily,” Alba said around a mouthful of tomatoes, “I would. However, in this particular case, you’ve given me annoyingly little to work with.”

“Ugh.” She sucked in an audible breath. “They’re just… loud and noisy and outgoing.”

“Two of those mean the same thing.”

“Alba.”

“The third one seems irrelevant, if you ask me.You’reoutgoing. What difference does it make if your partner is too?”

“They’re not my partner!”

“Hypothetical partner.”

“I don’t know.” She drew the end of the sentence out, suggesting she didn’t have any complaints lodged in actual reality or reason. “They’re… funny and annoying and messy.”

“Okay, that last one I’ll give you. Mess does annoy you.”

“Yeah, so, imagine being around someone like that all the time.”

“What? They’re just running around the place, messing everything up? How is that even possible?”

“No.” Zainab sounded agonized, but Alba had seen her like this before—she’d seen Alba like that too.

“So, what, then?”

Zainab sighed. “They’re just… messy, as a person.”

“Like, sloppy in the way they dress?”

“Actually, no,” she said after a brief pause. “They’re quite stylish. But just… emotionally.”

“Ah,” Alba replied, smiling widely. “So, what you’re telling me is that they aren’t willing to put up with your bullshit. Or that their personality makes it hard to even try that bullshit.”

“You don’t have to make it sound like I’m the worst person ever.”

“I didn’t say that! And I don’t think that. You know I don’t. I’m just putting the pieces together, like you asked, and what I’m getting is that you’ve found yourself around someone that makes you feel exposed.”

She was quiet for several long seconds. “Fine. I guess you could say that, yes.”

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