Page 43 of Finally Loved

“Alba asked me to go,” Neve said, feeling very slightly like the room was swaying. She hated the undercurrent in Charlie’s voice.

“You texted her?Why?” Her expression made Neve’s skin crawl.

“Because I wanted to.” Neve wasn’t entirely sure where the boldness had come from but it was the truth.

“Why would you put yourself in danger like that?”

Neve’s head was pounding. Somewhere deep inside of her was her teenage self. She’d never been especially rebellious at any age, but now, her teenage self felt like the stubborn part of her. That was the part that hated it the most when people pushed her into things she didn’t like or asked questions like she was a child.

“I’m not sure Alba’sthatdangerous,” Alice said, placing a hand over one of Charlie’s.

“How would we know that?” Charlie asked, more gentle when she was addressing Alice than when she was addressing Neve.

The teenager inside of Neve burned and railed again, demanding that same type of respect, demanding to have her own opinions about her own life, and to not have every one of them immediately called into question and open to public discussion.

“Well, we did meet her. She seemed nice enough. Maybe it’s okay if they hang out sometimes,” Alice said directly to Charlie. It was as though the two of them were having a conversation Neve wasn’t even a part of.

“She seemed like an arrogant asshole,” Charlie sneered, her voice only controlled because it was Alice she was addressing.

“You don’t even know her,” Neve yelled. She hadn’t been meaning to yell. She wasn’t someone who yelled—ever, really—but it bubbled up inside of her and burst out before she could think it through.

Alice and Charlie both turned back to Neve in surprise.

“Okay. Calm down,” Charlie said, clearly not taking the situation as seriously as Neve needed her to.

Humiliated, angry tears welled in Neve’s eyes. Her chest felt like it was going to burst. Years of putting herself away and putting up with being treated like a child, like she was barelycompetent swelled painfully inside of her. “No. No, I won’t calm down,” she said, no longer yelling, but she could hear her voice quivering. “You’re both sitting there debating whether or not someone I’m friends with is someone I’m allowed to be friends with? Whether she’s good enough for me to spend time with? And you’re calling her names without even knowing her. You know, most people would be thankful that someone helped one of their loved ones when they were in trouble, but the whole time, you’ve just been judging her.”

Charlie scowled at her. “You got into a stranger’s car while you were upset. That’s objectively a dangerous thing to do.”

“I am not a child.” The words felt like they were bouncing around Neve’s head, like the echo of something her body had been begging her to say for years. “I’m more than capable of deciding whether a situation feels safe or not.”

Charlie folded her arms. “Well, sorry for being concerned about you.”

Neve’s breath was ragged, her vision swimming through the tears. “Do not do that.”

Well, sorry for being a terrible mother…

Well, sorry for worrying about you…

Well, sorry for being sexually attracted to you…

Well, sorry… sorry… sorry…

Neve caught the moment Charlie realized what she’d done and what it would mean for Neve. Something like embarrassment flashed across her face before she fixed it back into a resolved mask.

And that hurt almost as much as the words themselves. Couldn’t she just have apologized for using them? Did she have to double down?

“Look,” Charlie said, “you’ve got a bad track record. People hurt you and you fall for them and end up devastated. We’re just trying to keep you away from people who are going todestroy you again. It’s not like you can be trusted to make those decisions for yourself.”

“I’m not even dating Alba. It’s not at all the same. And even if I was, it’s my life. It’s supposed to be my choice to make.” Neve couldn’t breathe through the sobs threatening to break free from the onslaught of memories and the betrayal of having Charlie, her best friend, throw them in her face.

She’d suspected Charlie thought them, but having her thoughts confirmed out loud was far worse than anything Neve could have imagined.

“We’re just trying to help,” Alice insisted.

“You’re supposed to be my friends,” Neve gasped, every muscle in her body aching under the weight of it all.

“So that means we’re supposed to sit back and watch someone take advantage of you? Watch you associate with people who are no good for you?” Charlie spat the words and Neve couldn’t understand why she felt this way about Alba. The whole thing felt like it was spiraling too far, too fast.

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