Page 42 of Finally Loved

“Sure.”

Zainab’s eyes traced over Alba’s face in a studying way. She dropped her voice. “You’re falling for her.”

“I thought we’d already established she was my type? It’s not like you can’t have a little crush on your friends. It will pass.”

Zainab blew out a breath. “It’s more than that. The look on your face when you talk to her…”

Alba looked at her incredulously. “We’re just friends and she’s going through something right now. Nothing is going to happen. I swear. I know what I’m doing.”

Zainab regarded her doubtfully. Alba didn’t know how to explain without revealing more about Neve than she had permission to. She had no idea whether Neve was generally out as asexual or if she wanted Alba’s friends knowing such a thing, and she wasn’t going to reveal it without very clear consent. It did make these conversations Zainab kept insisting on having a little complicated, though.

Eventually, Zainab dropped her shoulders. “Okay. If you say so. But, just so you know, when you’re hurting like hell, I’ll be there.”

Alba smiled. “I know.”

Zainab rolled her eyes and stood up. “Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop giving you a hard time about it, though.”

“I know that too.” Alba laughed and joined her in leaving the changing rooms.

“And, you know, I hope you’re ready for everyone else’s questions when you bring your girlfriend to my birthday party.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“She’s your date.”

“When has that ever been an indication I’m going to start calling someone my girlfriend?”

“It hasn’t. But she’s different, and, whether you want to admit it or not, you know that.”

Alba laughed. “I do know that. We’re friends and I’m planning on being friends with her for a long time.”

“Planning to marry her as far as I can see.”

Alba skipped ahead, leading the way for the checkout. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. But, if you’re so worried about me, perhaps you should bring your new colleague along so everyone is bringing someone. Might not look so suspicious then.”

Chapter 13

Neve took a deep breath before stepping out of her room. She still had no idea what she was going to say, but she knew she needed to say it. Whateveritwas.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she headed down to the kitchen. Confrontation had never been her favorite thing but it was especially bad when it was with those closest to her. Perhaps there were some relationships where the closer you were to a person, the safer it felt to speak out about your feelings, or to disagree with them, because you both knew, deep down, that none of it was going to change your relationship. You felt safe on the bedrock you’d built together. Anything said that the other didn’t agree with was simply the river running by you both. It would pass by and pass on and nothing would change. You’d both still be there.

Neve had never felt like that. Everything felt as though it were hastily built on top of a cliff edge that was threateningto plunge itself into the sea. Every moment didn’t always feel like that, but any time she needed to push back or deviate or disagree, that was exactly how it felt.

She wanted to believe her friendship with Charlie was strong enough to encompass Neve being a full, whole, adult woman, but it hadn’t been feeling that way.

She’d told herself she’d wait for a good time, in a good place, where they could sit down and have the conversation, and actually concentrate. However, she stepped into the kitchen, saw Charlie sitting at the little table while Alice whirled around the kitchen cooking, and, before even greeting them, blurted out, “I’m going to a party with Alba on Thursday.”

Once the words were out, she couldn’t take them back, but she wanted to. Far more painful than the breakup with Roxanne was the moment hanging in the kitchen. The one where she might be about to lose her two best friends. What was nine months with Roxanne compared to years of friendship with Charlie? Alice too, but she’d known Charlie longer, and Charlie was the one with the real problem with Alba.

Charlie frowned, looking from Alice’s back to Neve, still stood in the doorway. Alice turned to look at Charlie too.

Neve hesitated. “Uh. Yeah, so, there’s that. How are you both?”

“Why?” Charlie asked, ignoring Neve’s question.

“Because it’s Zainab’s birthday and she asked me to.”

“Zainab asked you to go? Or Alba asked you to go?”

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