Page 48 of Dear Ripley

Her eyes found mine and, for one blissful second, it felt like it always had. Her gaze jolted through me like magic, like air, like water to a long-thirsty soul.

And then her expression morphed into something entirely unlike the memories flooding through me, and I was brought back down to Earth. We weren’t those people anymore. She wasn’t seeking me out because we were together. She was seeking me out because she’d just realized I was here and she didn’t want me to be.

My mom and dad were calling my name, attempting to get my attention. I could hear them through the fog that had rolled in and surrounded me, but I couldn’t figure out how to react, respond, or do anything other than stare at Ripley.

“What is going on?” Mom said, whirling around in her seat to see what I was looking at.

I winced the moment she spotted Ripley, Morgan standing beside her grinning at the situation, and Joel going red—though that was presumably more to do with the fact that Ekundayo was witnessing this whole car crash happen.

“Ah, Ripley,” Mom called, half standing. “Come over and say hello to us, sweetie.”

Ripley blanched. My parents had always loved her. I was certain she must still talk to them sometimes, and I doubted she was one to refuse a request from my mother—few were.

Having a slightly better read on the situation, Dad looked cautiously from Ripley to me. I caught his eye and knew he saw the panic on my face, but I shook his concern off. If Ripley was going to come over, I could handle it. Sure, we hadn’t spoken to each other in person, or even been in the same room for very long lately, but we were adults, neither interested in causing a scene, and we could get through this.

Or, she’d find an excuse not to approach. That would probably be the best outcome.

But, of course, she didn’t choose that option.

With Morgan gripping her elbow, the pair of them started towards our table.

I’d thought the restaurant was reasonably cool up until this point. Now, it felt like I was going to melt through my seat. Every inch of my skin was clammy with nervous sweat. What had I been thinking when I’d told myself I could handle this? Who was I to believe I could handle being this close to Ripley again and not feel…something?

She stopped at the head of our table, her posture stiff. I hated seeing her like that, even if I was the exact same way. I kept my eyes down on the table.

“Hello,” she said, the word forced and tense.

“Hello, dears,” Mom said to them both as if she had no idea how tense the situation was.

I could feel Dad’s gaze burning a hole through me, and I was fairly certain Morgan was watching me too. I could probably handle a conversation with her—so long as she wasn’t with Ripley—so I was going to have to ask her why on earth she thought staring me down was a good idea.

The empty seat next to me felt cold and demanding. It was the thing that clued me into the fact that Joel had not returned when Ripley walked over. He must really like Ekundayo if he was forgoing a front-row seat to my personal hell. But at least there was only one open seat at the table. Any more and I was certain my mom would have invited them to join us.

“We haven’t seen you about very much lately,” Mom said to Ripley, her tone parental and slightly chastising, as though Ripley had any responsibility to be where Eve Burton thought she needed to be.

“Oh—” Ripley got out before Morgan’s laughter cut her off.

“Yeah,” Morgan told Mom conspiratorially, “she’s not been getting out much lately. She works, she goes home, she takes me grocery shopping with her as a form of hanging out. It’s sad, really.”

My stomach was coiled so tightly that I worried I might throw up. I was certain Ripley must feel the same way. Harlow had been right, but Morgan knew exactly why Ripley wasn’t going out, and bringing it up in front of the person who was undoubtedly the reason for her seclusion, and said reason’s mother, was not the subtlest move.

Although, had Morgan ever had a subtle bone in her body? I didn’t think so.

“Ahh,” Mom said, understanding but apparently ignorant as to why that might be the case. “Well, it’s nice to see you out tonight. We’re all glad Morgan managed to get you out.”

Morgan laughed. “I didn’t give her a choice.”

“Everyone has to eat, right?” Ripley said, that dangerous edge in her voice when she was being betrayed. I knew she would never cut Morgan off, but she wasn’t happy with her. I wondered what Morgan had threatened her with. Whatever it was, it wasn’t going to be enough to make up for all of this. Morgan was going to have some serious making-up to do.

“Eating is very important,” Mom agreed. I really did wonder how she was doing such a good job not picking up on the tension rolling off everyone at the table but her. “And we absolutely had to bring Alicia here. She doesn’t know what she’s been missing while she’s been gone.”

Or, perhaps, she was perfectly aware of the tension and she had her own, misguided agenda.

“Oh, I’m sure she does,” Ripley replied. It was so immediately and casually said that I was certain it hadn’t been a carefully crafted response. It was Ripley, breaking through the cracks.

There was something in her voice that made me need to look up. I knew it was a terrible idea, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I didn’t know what it was, but I needed to see her expression, needed to figure out what she meant.

She was still facing my parents, her body slightly angled away from me. It hurt more than it should.

---