Page 23 of I Always Will

She hummed, not sure what else to do. It wasn’t like she disagreed. She knew adults were busy, but, if she were lucky enough to be married to Hailey, she’d never stop making time for her, no matter what came up.

Hailey looked at her, grinning and expectant. “Maybe we should get married to each other.”

The breath Alexandria was in the middle of taking suddenly became solid. It lodged in her throat and chest, taking up space she didn’t have and hurting. She choked on it, feeling her face go red. “You think we should get married?” she spluttered.

“Why not?” Hailey giggled. “We love each other, we’re best friends. I think we’d be good at it. More people should marry their best friend, you know? Best friend marriages. I’m making it a thing.”

They probably don’t work that well when one of you is actually in love with the other, Alexandria thought to herself, a little bitterly. She really needed to get a hold of herself.

She looked at Hailey, who was still grinning like she’d hit upon a genius idea rather than a way to torture Alexndaria’s heart. “We’re fifteen.”

“I know that,” she laughed, sitting up and pausing the CD. “But we won’t always be.”

“It’s not even legal for two women to get married to each other,” Alexandria muttered, not sure she kept the anger out of her voice.

“Not yet,” Hailey said, her voice sing-songy and hopeful.

It was like she was dangling all of the things Alexandria wanted for her life in one night—for everyone to be able to marry the person they loved; for a marriage that was filled with everything good and wonderful; for her to be with her best friend and the person she loved most in the world.

Part of her brain was aware that this was kind of an odd conversation for a straight girl to be having with her best friend who was also a girl, but she was so muddled by her emotions and Hailey’s proximity that she was sure she was reading too much into it. Hailey probably really did just mean spending your life with your best friend platonically.

Honestly, Alexandria wouldn’t say no to that either. She didn’t need it to be anything more than what they already had. Romance and love and a relationship would be amazing, but forever with Hailey, however it looked, would be enough.

“We should do it,” Hailey said, clapping her hands on her knees.

“Do what?”

“We should make a plan to get married.”

“Hilarious,” Alexandria replied, knowing her usual edge was missing and fighting to stop her eyes from welling up. This was all too much. She wasn’t sure if it was a joke designed to make fun of her, or a joke just to kill time, or whether it was something best friends just did—she’d never had a best friend like this before—but all of it was messing with her heart.

“I’m serious,” Hailey insisted, reaching to pull a pad of paper and a pen over. “Not right now because we’re fifteen and it’s illegal—which is such bullshit, by the way. People should be able to marry whoever they want. It’s not like straight people are getting it right every time.”

Alexandria let out a slightly hysterical laugh. She supposed she didn’t have to worry about Hailey abandoning her when she came out. She’d never actually been worried about that—only that her crush might ruin things—but it was still nice to get confirmation.

Nice and terrifying and wonderful and overwhelming and a million other things Alexandria didn’t have words for.

“When?” she whispered eventually, wondering whether she was giving herself away too much.

Hailey’s smile got even wider. She was really pretty all the time but especially when she was smiling. “In twenty years?” she asked with a one-shoulder shrug. “That gives us time to see if we find other people we want to marry. It also gives themmorethan enough time to make marriage legal for everyone.”

“Yes,” Alexandria blurted, too eager, too emotional, too happy.

Too hurt.

She couldn’t imagine ever wanting anyone like she wanted Hailey. She was never going to find anyone else she liked this much. How could she want to marry anyone else when Hailey was already perfect? And the idea of Hailey ending up with someone else… Well, that hurt more than anything. Of course, she wanted her friend to be happy, but… it was her and Hailey…

Maybe it would be okay. If she agreed to Hailey’s proposal, they’d only have to make it through twenty years and then they could get married. Twenty years wasn’t that long, was it? She’d already been alive for fifteen. She could make it twenty years waiting for Hailey. It would be worth it. And even if they only got married as friends, at least they’d be together and married.

Married.She could be married toHailey… That was the best thingever.

“What are you doing?” she asked, watching Hailey writing in the notepad she’d grabbed.

Hailey laughed. “Writing a contract.”

“A contract?”

“Yes. For our wedding.”

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