Page 81 of Of the Stars and Sea

The sopping wet clothes he wore yesterday have been replaced by a black tunic with a deep V cut that reveals the center of his smooth, tan chest. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and I remember the way my hands found strength in his arms on the quarterdeck yesterday, as each passing wave threatened to topple me to the ground.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, his long muscular legs extend out to the wall where his boots rest against it. The black fabric of his pants are taut, revealing the honed muscles of his thighs.

My hands ache to reach out for him—and so I do. His skin is warm beneath my touch. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches when I run my hand down the length of his forearm before I intertwine my fingers with his.

“Good morning.” My voice is raspy from sleep, but my body feels amazing. There’s no trace of the fatigue that swept me into a deep slumber the second my head hit the pillow yesterday. Much to Grayson’s delight, I spent the rest of the day resting, allowing the healing potion to work its magick. With the way I feel now, I’m thankful I did. The sheets and duvet surroundingme are dry, the fever and my sweats having disappeared with the aid of the healing potion as well.

Once we find Thaeto’s treasure and I make my way back to theTrinity, I’ll need to ask Doc which apothecary he gets it from. There have been more than a few times when my crew and I would have benefitted greatly from having stock of them.

The Trinity.

My crew.

Will it truly be as simple as going back to them?

I hadn’t really thought about what might happen at the end of all this. Not since Grayson and I kissed and he told me that things will be forever changed between us. Not since he told me I amhis. Not since I have felt like he ismine.

What will Amara and Wells think when I tell them I’ve fallen for the enemy? Will they invoke a mutiny and demand I release my position as captain of theTrinity? Or is there a chance they might understand?

“Where did you just go?” Grayson asks, luring me from the spiral of my thoughts.

“Nowhere.” I clear my throat and sit up against the pillows.

“I thought we spoke about this. No more secrets, Rowenya.” The blue of his eyes is bright today, nearing the edge of green like the shallow waters surrounding Emerald Cove.

Taking a deep breath, I squeeze his hand. “I’m not trying to keep secrets from you. I’m just not . . . used to sharing all my thoughts with someone else.”

He’s quiet for a moment. Then he says, “That’s fair.”

Leaning forward, he runs his thumb and forefinger down a lock of my hair until he reaches the pearl secured around it. He picks it up for a moment and something shifts in his eyes before he lets it fall back onto my chest.

“But I’m here,” he reminds me. “Ready to share in whatever burdens your heart. You’re not alone. Not anymore.”

The icy cage that surrounds my heart starts to melt as I stare down a forked path. One route includes me building up the walls around myself again, one by one. Making sure that he can never break through them. Part of me thinks that might be the safer option, given how everything started between us, because Grayson Tyde is no saint. He is dangerous and has proven to do whatever he deems necessary to get what he wants in this life.

And the other path . . .

The one where I let him in . . .

Am I ready for that? Knowing that my feelings for him may very well be what ends me altogether.

For a moment, I take a step toward the former. Layering one brick. Then another. But as I stare into the endless morass of the stars and sea in his eyes, I falter. Building that wall means losing him forever. That’s when I realize I would rather come to a violent end than negate what’s transpiring between us.

“I’m scared,” I whisper and already, my chin begins to tremble and tears threaten to spill down my face.

Grayson is steadfast in his patience, allowing me a moment to figure out what I want to say without pressuring me. He just looks at me, no trace of the stone mask in place. It’s just him. Somehow, I think it might be easier if I were talking to that colder version of him.

After another breath, I continue. I’ve agreed to be open to this. Not just for him, but for myself.

“I’m scared of what this all means.” I gesture between us. “And I’m afraid of what Amara and Wells might think of me once they know of my feelings for you.” His brows raise at that, but he remains silent. “But most of all, I think I’m afraid that once my crew has their share of the treasure, I will be cast aside. For so long, their fates were bound to mine. And once they are free of me . . .”

The words get caught in my throat and the tears I fought back start to slip out. Grayson reaches up and wipes them away with his thumb and the mere touch of his skin against mine makes me shiver.

His voice is gruff when he says, “Their fates, Little Pearl . . . What do you mean they were bound to yours?”

My stomach coils into a tight knot. “It’s so shameful,” I say more to myself than him. I look down at the duvet that covers my legs, unable to look at him, knowing the terrible deed I have committed against my own crew.

Then I feel his fingers reach beneath my chin and lift upward. “There is nothing you could say right now that would make me think differently of you. Nothing you could say that is worse than what I have done myself.”

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