Page 72 of I Could Be Yours

“You didn’t get lucky, Rix. You attracted all these people to you by being who you are. People love you. People want you to succeed and be happy. Tristan knows how special you are. We all do. I’m so glad you’ve found your person. It brings me so much joy to see you in such a good place.”

She squeezes my hand. “You’ll find your person, too, Ess.”

“I want what my parents have. I want what you have with Tristan.” I shift and rest my chin on my knuckles. “But instead of Prince Charming, I always seem to pick the ones who are bad for me.”

“Do you think it’s because you’re not ready for the one?” Rix asks softly.

“Maybe.” I’ve thought about this a lot lately—the reasons for all these dead-end relationships. “In Vancouver, I kept dating all these pretty-boy B-list actors with connections.” I swallow pastthe lump in my throat, because admitting this, even to my best friend, is hard. “But no one expected me to have input, or thoughts, or ideas. I was just the pretty makeup artist.” And of course I could come to the next party as long as I could do their makeup.

I sigh. It was like this in high school, too. I was always the hot girl, and Rix was my smart, pretty best friend. She never worried about what other people thought the way I do.

Her eyes soften. “You’re so much more than a pretty face, Ess. You’re creative, smart, kind, thoughtful, and one of my favorite people in the world.”

“And you’re my favorite, forever and always.”

“Are you happier back in Toronto?”

When I’m with Rix and the Babe Brigade, I’m just me, and they love and accept me as I am. So do my parents and my sister. “Yeah, the girls are amazing friends, and I won’t fall back into the trap of dating actors.”

“Has this job been better for you?”

“In Vancouver it was movie sets with a rotating cast and odd hours, but now it’s stable, and my hours are normal. The people I work with are more down-to-earth. I have more time to spend with the people who matter to me. Like you.”

“I’m so glad you’re back. I loved that you were doing your thing, but I missed you so much.”

I hug her arm. “I missed you, too. I’m really glad I get to be here with you and be part of your special day. And do your makeup! I feel like I’ve been training for it with all the girls’ nights out over the past year.”

“You’re an artist with a makeup brush.” She tips her head. “Have you ever thought about transitioning to wedding makeup?”

I scrunch my nose. “I helped out with a couple when I was training in school, and while it’s cool that you get to be with people on what’s supposed to be one of the happiest days oftheir lives, there is also the opportunity to really fuck it up for them.”

Rix cringes. “Are you speaking from experience?”

“Personal? No. But I’ve heard the horror stories. Also, I’d always have to work on the weekend.”

“True.”

“I like working on a set where I can be creative, but I also know what’s coming at me most of the time. The bridezilla factor is a real thing.”

“Am I a bridezilla?” Rix looks suddenly worried.

“No.” I laugh. “Not even a little. You want things to go smoothly. You want your special day to be good, not just for your sake, but for everyone and especially for Tristan. You know how much work it took to get where you are, so it makes sense that you want the day to be a good one.”

She squeezes my hand. “I hope I can be half as helpful when it’s your turn.”

I smile, but there’s a lump in my throat as I force any image of me in a wedding dress out of my head. “You will be the best matron of honor.”

But I’m afraid I’ll never be where she is. That I’ll never bethe onefor someone.

The Nate I’ve come to know is softer and sweeter than anyone realizes, and it would be so easy to open my heart to that side of him. It would also be totally on brand for me to fall for another guy whose life vision doesn’t align with mine. We can have fun this week, but when the wedding is over, so are we. It’s the only way to keep my silly heart from being broken again.

CHAPTER 22

ESSIE

Towels and shirts are scattered over the lounge beds by the pool when we return, but the guys aren’t there, which shouldn’t be a surprise. They’re probably doing something sporty because sitting still isn’t any of their strong suits.

I scan the shoreline, which is full of people in swimwear, but I don’t see the guys, so I look to the water instead. “There they are.”