Page 123 of I Could Be Yours

“Tristan and Rix still go there once a month with Flip,” I muse.

“I’ve gone with them a couple of times. The unlimited salad and bread are tough to beat.”

“This is true.” I run my thumb back and forth over her hand.

We order appetizers and drinks and talk about work and our friends, holding hands across the table. It feels so good to be with her again, to have the closeness that seems to come so easily in her presence.

“What’s going on in your head?” Essie asks.

“I’m just so grateful that you’re here and willing to give me another chance,” I admit. “I’ve never been great at talking about my feelings, or expressing them in other healthy ways, but with you, I want to be.”

“I know you’re putting all the work in, Nate. I see the difference, and I know it can’t be easy.” She squeezes my hand.

“When I was younger and my mom was still with us, I learned it was better to stay quiet.”

“To avoid fighting?”

“Sort of. But it was mostly one-sided. We were just trying to keep the peace. But I can see now why my relationship with Lisa ended the way it did. I’m not excusing her for cheating on me. She could have and should have ended things before it ever came to that, but I played a part by not being open with my feelings. I’m working on being better at that. You are such an incredible light, Essie, and you give your heart so completely to the people you care about. I want to honor that and give you the same kind of love back, because it’s what we both deserve.”

Her eyes turn glassy, and her chin wobbles.

My throat tightens. “Ess?”

“It’s good emotion.” She raises our hands and kisses the back of mine. “I love that you’re doing this, not just for us, but for you and the people you care about. I see all that love inside you, and I’m so thankful that I get to be one of the people you share it with. I’ll be here to love you and listen whenever you need to talk things through, especially when it’s hard.”

“You’re amazing,” I whisper.

“So are you,” she whispers back.

“I’m really glad your best friend married my brother.”

“Me too.”

The server delivers our appetizers, and we take a quick spin through the menu so we can order our mains.

Then Essie shifts gears as she pops a bite of beet salad into her mouth. “Talk to me about the prototype and how things are going.”

“We made some tweaks, so we’re moving into round two of testing.”

“That’s so exciting. What does that entail? Tell me all about it.” She smiles expectantly. “Give me all the science-y details.”

“So, comfort and support are key to a good skate, but there are other elements to consider. The thickness of the blade, the shape and curve, and the weight of the player all need to be factored in. The best skates on the market most accurately take in force as it relates to the conversion of the ice into water, which allows for better speed. We use specific formulas to determine the ideal combination for frictional heat production, which is related to the thermal conductivity of metals. Oh, and skates have two working edges with a hollow curve in the center to allow for this.”

Essie has stopped eating her salad.

“Sorry. I’m probably boring you.”

“Not even a little.” She licks her lips and leans in, whispering, “A lot of this is over my head, but my panties are damp, so please keep sciencing me.”

I fight a grin. “Sciencing is not a verb.”

“I know, but it makes your brow furrow, which also makes my panties damp, so it’s my new favorite word. Please, keep explaining force and friction.”

So I do, and Essie asks all kinds of questions, hanging on my every word, making me feel like everything I say matters, like I’m the center of her universe.

This is what love is supposed to be like. This feeling is the reason I’m willing to do the work and talk through all the hard things.

After dinner, we cross the street and walk down the block.

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