“What if I do the work and she still doesn’t want me?”
“Wouldn’t you rather try and know for sure than spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been?”
CHAPTER 37
ESSIE
“Oh my gosh, your hair!” Dred exclaims.
“Is it too drastic? It’s too drastic, isn’t it?” I run my fingers through it self-consciously.
“No. I love the pink streaks. It’s very you.” She glances at the box sitting close to the door. “What’s going on here? And what the heck are you eating?”
Dred and I are going to the Watering Hole to grab a bite to eat. We’ve been home from Aruba for two weeks, and I’ve completed my Breakup Checklist. I watched all my favorite princess movies, took out my aggression and sadness on my dartboard, got a magic wand tattoo on my hip, and scrapbooked the heck out of the wedding photos I took. It’s time to move forward.
“It’s homemade chocolate icing.” Another item from my Breakup Checklist.
“And you’re eating it straight up?”
“Yup, while I watched all my favorite princess movies.” I use the spoon to point to the box. “And I cleaned out my lingerie drawer. Everything that I wore for Nate had to go.”
She nods slowly. “You guys had a lot of sex, huh?”
“We did.” I wish I’d been able to keep my heart out of it, butI’ve never been very good at that. I set the icing on the counter and grab my purse.
“You talk to him at all?” Dred asks as we step out into the hall.
I shake my head and make sure my apartment door is locked before we walk to the elevators. “He needs to figure himself out, and I need to give him the space to do that, even though it hurts.” The elevator arrives, and we climb aboard. It’s empty apart from us.
“Flip took him to retirement-village bingo the other night,” Dred notes.
I laugh at the prospect of grumpy, gorgeous Nate surrounded by grandmas. And then I almost burst into tears.
Dred puts her arm around me. “Sorry. We don’t have to talk about him.”
“I’m fine. Just residual feelings leaking out.” I pluck a tissue from my purse and dab at the corners of my eyes. “I guess that means he’s past the brokenhearted phase.”
The elevator doors slide open, and we step out into the warm August night.
“Eh, I don’t know about that. I think it’s more that Flip was tired of all the moping and felt like he needed to do something other than sit around the apartment and be sad.”
It’s a short walk to the Watering Hole. The familiar scent of wings, pizza, and beer greets me as we enter the pub. This is what I need—a dose of normalcy. I’m no stranger to shaking off heartbreak, but it feels harder this time.
We grab a table and order margaritas and some apps to share.
“Rix and Tristan look like they’re having the best time on their honeymoon,” Dred says.
“She’s in her glory, for sure.” Rix has been sending daily updates in our Babe chat. “And she really, really needed this vacation before she goes back to school in the fall.”
“She definitely deserves the break,” Dred agrees.
We talk and eat, and even though my heart still hurts, it feels good to be out with a friend.
My phone buzzes with a new message, and I glance at the screen. My stomach lurches and my heart rate spikes.
“Is he finally reaching out?” Dred asks. She doesn’t seem that surprised.
I bite my lip. “Should I check it? I should check it.”