Page 109 of I Could Be Yours

I nod. “Yes. I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll check on you in a bit,” Dad says.

They both hug me before they head back up to find Rix.

All of this feels impossibly heavy, and the exhaustion is overwhelming.

We’re still keeping secrets, protecting Brody from more pain.

But I realize, as I head back to my room—alone, again—that if I don’t want history to keep repeating itself, I have to fix the problem. I have to fix myself.

CHAPTER 35

ESSIE

I’m bookended between my mom and Cammie as we board the plane, with Chase and my dad behind us. My stomach is in knots. We took a private transfer to the airport, but we’re on the same flight as Nate and his family. There’s security in being with my parents, and even my little sister, but it doesn’t stop the churning in my stomach or the sharp ache in my chest as we shuffle through first class. Gideon and Sophia are on the right, three rows back, and Nate and Brody are across the aisle on the left.

Sophia and Gideon wear matching empathetic smiles as we pass, and Brody waves at me, but all I get is the top of Nate’s head. His focus is on the phone in his hand. Brody elbows him, and he glances at his brother as we pass through into economy.

I changed my ticket so I could sit with my parents on the trip home. Tears prick behind my eyes, threatening to embarrass me in front of a plane full of mostly strangers.

I didn’t see Nate again after Isaac outed us yesterday. I kept it together when I talked to Rix, but as soon as I was alone, I lost it. I spent the rest of the day locked in my room, crying my heart out. My mom ended up staying with me overnight, leaving dad on his own for his last night in Aruba.

Mom takes the window seat, I take the middle, and Cammie starts to slide into the seat next to mine.

“You can sit with Chase,” I croak.

“We just spent the week together. He can handle sitting beside Dad for the next five hours.”

Tears start to fall again. Cammie drops into her seat, and she and my mom engulf me in a hug from both sides.

“It’ll be okay, honey,” Mom says softly.

That just makes me cry harder.

“I’m sorry you’re hurting,” Cammie mumbles into my hair.

“He can’t even look at me,” I sob.

Mom kisses my temple. “He has a lot going on right now. Give him some time to process it all.”

I swore her to secrecy before I told her what happened with Tristan’s mother, followed by Nate’s subsequent declaration and my insistence that he couldn’t possibly be falling for me. “What if when he processes it all, he still thinks I’m right? I don’t want to be right.”

“Brody told Chase that Nate hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday at brunch,” Cammie whispers. “And he wouldn’t leave his room at all yesterday.”

“I should have kept my stupid mouth shut.” I hiccup.

The flight attendant stops at our row and asks if everything is okay.

My dad assures them we’re fine from across the aisle. But he asks for more tissues and a bottle of water when they have the chance.

“First of all, your mouth isn’t stupid, honey, and I know right now every feeling you have is on fire, but when we’re hurting, it’s important to be especially kind to ourselves.” Mom tucks my hair behind my ear. “You are incredibly perceptive and empathetic. Your concerns are valid, and voicing them was the right thing to do, even though it was hard and the results aren’t the ones you hoped for. He’s hurting right now, too, for a lot of reasons, and he needs time to sort through his feelings, just likeyou do. You can’t control his actions or reactions to what you say, but you can give yourself some grace.”

“I just want my own happily ever after,” I whisper. “What if it never happens?”

“If a weirdo like me can find my perfect match, so can you,” Cammie assures me.

“Everyone is weird,” I sniffle.

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