Page 46 of Love in Tune

Tash frowned, and then her eyes opened wide and round.

‘Shit! Hon. Benedict Hallam is your nutso neighbour?’

‘Do you know him?’ Honey said. His name had seemed familiar to her when he’d said it, but she’d spent the time since concentrating too hard on loving him or hating him to dwell on why.

‘You do too,’ Tash said, sliding her glass onto the table. ‘Benedict Hallam, the hotshot celebrity chef?’ Tash frowned, obviously thinking. ‘He had a posh restaurant in London … and oh God, that’s it! He had an accident … he was an adrenalin junkie … a snowboarding injury I think?’

Honey nodded slowly. It all sounded vaguely familiar, but she was less of a fan of the celeb magazines than Tash.

‘Is he over there right now?’ Tash said, instantly animated. ‘Can I go and meet him?’

‘No way, Tash! You’re not talking to him, and he wouldn’t answer the door anyway. He’d hurl abuse. He’s the most ignorant man you’ve ever met. I’m not even kidding.’

‘From what I remember of him from the papers he’s sex on a stick,’ Tash said.

Honey took a bigger gulp of her wine than she’d planned. ‘He’s alright, I suppose.’

Tash shot her a meaningful look. ‘He’s sex on a stick and you know it.’

‘Fine. Whatever. He’s sex on a stick,’ Honey grumbled, knowing there was little point in arguing the point because Tash was right. ‘But he’s miserable as sin, and he led me on and then threw me out.’

Tash refilled their glasses, frowning again. ‘So going back to your story. You shouted, he shouted, and then what?’

‘And then he flipped into sexy mode and asked me to shave his beard off for him.’

‘Fuuuck,’ Tash sighed. ‘I love him.’

‘And then he pulled me onto his lap, unbuttoned my dress and kissed the life out of me.’

Tash licked her lips, her eyes sparkling. ‘I know you’re going to say this is bad of me but I read in a magazine that blind men are better in bed. More thoughtful and skilled with their hands because they’re not rendered stupid by the sight of a naked woman. In the absence of a pianist, he might just be the perfect candidate to help you get over your little problem.’ Tash’s mischief-filled eyes shot to Honey’s crotch.

‘That’s just the thing, Tash. There’s something about him that I just can’t put my finger on, he only has to touch me and I turn into a jelly-kneed idiot. He’s rude to me, like proper obnoxious, and then he kisses me and I melt.’

Tash nodded slowly. ‘So he stripped you, kissed you, and then what?’

‘And then he let me practically beg him to do me before he decided he’d had enough and told me to get dressed and go home.’

Tash grimaced. ‘Classic clit-tease.’

Honey glanced up doubtfully.

‘Male equivalent of a prick tease,’ Tash supplied, reaching for her glass off the table.

Honey half laughed, wishing she’d known the phrase the other night.

‘He didn’t give you any explanation for breaking it off?’

Honey shook her head. ‘Just that I’d thank him in the morning. Which I absolutely sodding didn’t, by the way.’

‘Harsh, babe,’ Tash said in sympathy, and then blew out heavily. ‘Total horndog though. Christ.’

‘You’re supposed to be on my side, remember?’

‘I am. I am.’ Tash swirled the wine around in her glass. ‘It was a shitty thing to do to you. My advice?’

Honey nodded. All advice gratefully accepted, even Tash’s.

‘You either have to go over there and demand he finish what he started, or stop mooning over him and move on.’

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