Page 105 of Love in Tune

‘Immie, I owe you better than to do this here, but it seems that this is how this thing is going to play out,’ he said, stepping closer to his fiancée.

‘I’ve changed, Imogen. I’ve had to. You’re right, we probably could go back to our old lives in London, try to pick up where we left off somehow. We could, but I don’t want to.’ He looked unbearably gaunt. ‘I can’t say this in a way that isn’t hurtful, so I’ll say it in the only way I know. The honest way. We had a wonderful life together, but I don’t want that life anymore. I don’t want London, or a celebrity lifestyle, and Imogen, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be your husband either. Or your fiancé. Or your anything.’ He drew in a deep breath. ‘It’s over, Immie. It has been since the moment I lost my sight.’

Honey glanced down at the floor, feeling no victory from Imogen’s defeat. She felt Hal’s words as if they were directed at herself, and she recognised her own sense of loss in Imogen’s tearful face. They both loved him in their own way, and just because the first blow had been a knockout for Imogen it didn’t mean he didn’t have another killer blow up his sleeve.

‘I guess I’ll leave you to your party then,’ Imogen said, looking at Honey.

Honey looked back levelly, her chin high despite her spirits being on the floor. She watched the other woman leave, looking at the door as it closed behind her, knowing in her gut that she wouldn’t be the only person leaving tonight.

She turned to Tash and Nell, holding each of their hands.

‘Should we go?’ Nell asked, her worried eyes searching Honey’s face.

‘We can stay, if you like?’ Tash said.

Honey shook her head and kissed them both. ‘Thank you for coming tonight. You’re the best friends.’

‘Fight for him,’ Tash murmured as she kissed Honey’s cheek.

‘Make him fight for you,’ Nell whispered, and with a small, sad smile, Honey ushered them out of the door.

‘Here we are again,’ Hal said after Honey had closed the door behind her friends. ‘Just you and me in this lobby.’

Honey leaned against the door. ‘We started it here. I guess it’s fitting that we end it here too,’ she said, because despite Nell and Tash’s parting advice, she knew that it was inevitable that Hal was going to walk out of here tonight.

‘Well, you have the advantage on me,’ she said. ‘I guess you heard everything I said earlier?’

His silence confirmed what his words didn’t.

‘So yeah,’ she laughed shakily, a sad sound that echoed around the lobby. ‘I love you, despite the fact that you’re the most difficult, rude person I know. You’ve done nothing to earn it, yet my love is yours anyway.’ She shrugged. ‘Take it. Keep it. Throw it away. Do whatever you like with it, because it’s not mine anymore.’

He looked anguished, not at all like a man glad to hear love declarations.

‘I never intended to let things get this far,’ he said. ‘I tried to tell you. I tried to stop it. Don’t love me, Honey.Idon’t love me. Fuck, I barely even know me, so there’s no way you can.’

Oh, he wasn’t getting away with that.

‘You’re wrong. I do know you. I probably know you better than you know yourself right now. Maybe you haven’t given up on the old Hal, but I only know the new one, and he’s the man I love,’ she said. ‘Am I not enough, Hal? Is that it? Life here is boring compared to the glitzy London life? I can’t compete with that. I’m not even going to try.’

Hal stepped closer and reached out, holding her by the shoulders.

‘Honey, there is no competition. You win. You win hands down, okay? Life with you isn’t dull. It’s a fucking technicolour rainbow.’

What was he saying? She struggled to sift his words, even more so when his thumb brushed along her collarbone.

‘You’re not second choice. You’re first. The best. The most fucking exceptional girl I’ve ever met in my life.’

‘So why won’t you stay with me?’ she whispered, because despite everything he’d said, she knew he was still going to leave her.

He shook his head, and then slowly removed his dark shades and put them in the pocket of his coat.

‘Because of this,’ he said starkly. ‘I don’t want this life for you. It’s my life, but I won’t let it be yours too.’

Frustration burned hot in Honey’s chest. ‘You know what? I don’t think I’d have loved the man you used to be. I love you just as you are right now. Why can’t you be brave enough to love me back, Hal?’

‘Because this isn’t a place for exceptional rainbow girls,’ he said, touching the side of his head. ‘It’s dark in here, Honey. I’m dark, and I’ll tarnish you if you stay with me.’

‘That’s a crock of shit, Hal.’

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