Page 42 of You Deserve Good Things

And that was when the devil himself rang my phone.

My wedding planner.Satan in stilettos.

“Hey, Shaniya, it’s about the venue . . .” she started, and I already knew. Her voice had that I-fucked-up-but-please-don’t-cuss-me-out tremble in it.

“What. About. The. Venue?” I said slowly, my voice calm like a storm that ain’t landed yet.

She exhaled. “They, um . . . double-booked you with a brunch-like baby shower for the same date.”

Double. Booked.

Daniale sat up like she had been summoned by Beyoncé herself. “Oh, hell no. You mean to tell me my best friend don’t have a damn venue anymore!”

I blinked. “You mean to tell me I planned this wedding for six months just to be evicted by a brunch and baby shower combo!”

“They’re offering to move it to a different location,” the planner said quickly, panicking. “It’s smaller but cozy! Intimate!”

“Intimate!” I screeched. “Girl, this ain’t a backyard barbecue! This is my wedding! This is silk gown, slow-dancing, ugly-cry vows type love! Not a ‘pass me a paper plate’ type situation, the fuck!”

Daniale yanked the phone out my hand. “Sweetie, I’ma say this with love. You’re fired. Fired like a microwave pizza. We’ll handle it from here.”

I just stood there, frozen in my dream dress, fighting tears like they owed me money.

And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse?

Two hours later, I get a call from the florist. She sounded chipper as hell, like she just delivered sunshine.

“Hey! We just sent over the orange tulips!”

Tulips.Orange.

“I asked for red roses and white lilies!” I said, eyes twitching like I had just downed four espresso shots and a prayer.

“Well, we thought tulips were a fresh twist?—”

“You thought wrong! What part of elegant romance screamstraffic cone chic!”

Mama rubbed my back like I had just been told the Lord was testing me. “Baby, it’s gon’ be fine.”

I turned slowly. “Fine? Mama, I’m two seconds from having a ‘Bridezilla Snaps’ documentary special. This wedding is about to be featured on a crime podcast.”

My daddy, sitting in the corner, let out a chuckle. A low, sneaky, back-of-the-throat laugh like he was tryin’ not to get caught.

I whipped my head toward him. “You laughing?”

He shrugged. “You right, baby. It ain’t funny . . .” He paused then grinned. “It’s hilarious.”

I threw a throw pillow so hard at his chest he had to clutch it like it was a newborn baby.

And guess what? The chaos trainstillwasn’t done. By the time I made it back to the boutique for my final fitting?My dress wasn’t ready.The same dress I had dreams about. The same dress I picked with my heart in my hands.

“We’re terribly sorry,” the boutique owner said, looking like she was fighting for her job and her soul. “The alterations had a minor delay?—”

I slowly handed my earrings to Daniale.

“Hold these. I’m ’bout to catch a charge.”

Daniale grinned. “Ain’t no way God gon’ let you go to jail before the wedding, sis. Maybe right after.”

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