I cut myself off when I realize I nearly said I love him. I don’t love Jaxon. Am I falling for him? Yes, I admit I am. But I haven’t known him long enough to love him.
I clear my throat and try again without dropping any accidental love bombs. “You can say whatever you want or need to say about your mom or dad or brothers or the ghost of Smuggler’s Hideaway. I don’t want you to hold back from sharing with me because of my past. How am I supposed to get to know my husband if you hold back?”
“Ghost of Smuggler’s Hideaway?”
I shrug. “There must be a ghost somewhere on this island.” I squeeze his hand. “Stop stalling. Tell me what’s bothering you.”
He blows out a breath. “Nothing in particular is bothering me.”
I raise an eyebrow.
“It’s just… Well, Mom throws these Sunday meals for us every month as if we’re this tight-knit family, but while I was growing up, she was never around.”
“Why was she never around?”
He lifts his glasses up and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Dad left us when I was fourteen. We had this great party for Eli’s sixteenth birthday at Prohibition Beach, but two days later, he was gone and never returned.”
“What an asshole.”
“We never heard from him again, which left Mom all alone to raise six kids by herself.”
My nose wrinkles. “He never paid any child support?”
He purses his lips. “No. He disappeared. Mom worked two jobs, but it wasn’t enough. So, Eli got odd jobs to help her pay for the bills, and Rhett helped out with raising us since Mom was never around.”
From what I’ve seen, Eli and Rhett are still looking out for their younger brothers. Eli founded the distillery for them, and Rhett tries to keep them in line. He fails. But he does try.
“To sum up, you feel you’re not a close-knit family because everyone in the family pulled together when you were a teenager to make certain there was food on the table and homework was done.”
He groans. “You make me sound like an asshole.”
“No. No. No.” I squeeze his hands. “I’m merely pointing out there’s a good reason why your mom wasn’t around when you were a teenager. Sometimes the memory of our hearts doesn’t align with the memory of our mind.”
“What?”
“Your heart remembers your mom not being around. Even though your mind knows she wasn’t around for damn goodreasons, your heart doesn’t let you forget about how much you missed your mom.”
“Huh. This is a very good way of explaining it.”
“I’m glad you approve. I’ll write my therapist a thank-you note.”
“You have a therapist?”
I roll my eyes. “Duh. My parents died in a car accident on their way to visit me for Christmas because my boyfriend refused to visit them. I’ve been paying the guilt police ever since.”
“You can’t blame yourself. It was an accident.”
“My mind knows this. My heart doesn’t.”
His mouth drops open. “Oh.”
“Hold on.” I dig around in my purse.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking a picture of the moment I rendered Jaxon Raider, the brilliant master whiskey distiller, speechless.”
“You think you’re funny.”