My heart thumps in my chest. People he cares about? He can’t care about me.
I don’t trust his words. Men lie. Especially when they want something from you. Adam is a prime example.
I need to end this. I need to push him away. I can’t trust him. Considering what I feel for him is bigger than anything I ever felt for Adam, I need this to end before he breaks my heart. And he will break my heart. There’s no other option.
There’s one surefire way to end this. Throw my pride away and expose my idiocy.
“I was married.”
His brow wrinkles. “You’re divorced?”
“Widowed.”
His eyes fill with sympathy. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Adam was a liar, a womanizer, and a compulsive gambler.”
“What did—”
I hold up my hand to quiet him. “I won’t be taking any questions.”
He nods. “Continue.”
I can’t continue when all I can see and smell is Rhett. I shove away from the wall and duck under his arm. I pace the room as I tell my story.
“I met Adam when I was still in care. I fell head over heels for him. He was charming and sweet, and he’d been in care, so he understood me.”
Rhett growls, and I narrow my eyes at him. He coughs. “Sorry.”
“When I aged out of care, I moved in with him. I worked two jobs while I put myself through community college. We were saving our money to buy a house. I’ve always wanted to own a house. A home no one can kick me out of. A place with room for my own things. More things than can fit in a black garbage bag.”
I stop to stare out of the window at the parking lot. This is not the home I dreamed of. An outdated suite in a rundown motel with a view of parked cars.
“When we signed the papers for our house, I thought I’d won at life. I had a good job managing a plumbing company.” I glare at him. “And managing a plumbing company is a good job.”
He holds up his hands. “I was an asshole.”
Yes, he was. But discussing his past behavior is not on the current agenda.
“Life was good. I thought. Sure, Adam was gone a lot of weekends for work but I didn’t mind. I had my home. A place where I felt safe. I spent endless hours shopping at second hand stores for furniture. I even took a class in upselling used items. I didn’t sell them, though. I kept them.”
I blow out a breath. I don’t want to tell the rest of the story. The part when it becomes clear what an idiot I was.
Rhett wraps his arms around me from behind. “Finish it. Rip it off like a Band-Aid. After today, we don’t need to discuss this ever again.”
“Adam wasn’t away for work all those weekends. He was in Atlantic City gambling and paying for hookers.”
Rhett growls, but I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to comfort him. I’m too lost in my own version of hell.
“The worst part is I didn’t know. I had no clue. Until Adam was killed in a car crash. Then, everything fell apart. He wasn’t making payments on the mortgage and I lost my home.” Tears well in my eyes but I sniff and suck them back up. I’ve cried enough tears. They don’t change anything.
“I managed to consolidate all of his debts for the cars and the house. I thought I had everything covered.”
“And then Grigori showed up,” Rhett grumbles.
I nod. “I tried to ignore him. But loan sharks refuse to be ignored. A dead snake with a sign ‘Next time, it’s your turn’ was enough to get my attention.”
I shiver as I recall walking into the apartment I moved into after I lost my home to discover the snake on the kitchen table.