Page 106 of Mountain Wood

I… I can’t breathe.

Tugging on the zipper, I rip my coat open and tear it off me.

My lungs saw icy air as I try to escape the cabin through the backdoor. The bolt is stuck. Everything’s stuck. It’s all frozen. All ruined.

“You did this.”

I manage to yank open the door and stumble out onto the backside of the porch. Leaning over the railing, my tears sting my face as I cry harder and harder.

I have to call Dean. I need to tell him what’s happened.

“He’s going to be furious with you.”

That’s okay. I’ll pay for the damage. This is one time he’ll have to accept my money because it’s all my fault.

I stare at the ground, practicing yoga breathing techniques to calm my ass down.

It’s going to be okay. I’ve got this. I’ll help him fix the damage. I mounted cabinets last week. I can totally do it again.

But what about mold? How does a saturated cabin dry out in the middle of winter and not grow mold in the floorboards?

Panic slices me in two again.

This might not be a simple fix. It could be a demolition.

“You make everything worse, Grace.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You should never have come here.”

“Shut up.”

“You’ve been a royal pain in Dean’s ass since the moment you stepped foot on his property. You’re just giving him more stress, more work, more headaches.”

“No, I’m not!”

Clamping my gloved hands over my ears, I squeeze my eyes shut and say positive things to myself to drown out my mother’s voice.

It’s all fixable.

It’s all replaceable.

It was an accident.

It’ll be okay.

Inhaling deeply, I let cold air fill my lungs and exhale strongly to blow my insecurities away.

Then repeat two more times.

In with the good shit, out with the bullshit.

In with the good shit, out with the bullshit.

Alright. I got this.

Just before I turn to head back inside, something catches my attention.