Page 110 of Writing Mr. Wrong

She took his hands, holding them tight and saying nothing, just letting him talk.

“I have one physical issue right now,” he said. “My knee acts up. It doesn’t give out. It doesn’t stop me from doing anything. It just reminds me that it’s there, and I look after it.”

“What does the team doctor say about it?”

“I haven’t told her. At my age, if I even suggest my joints are giving me trouble, the team will start quietly making plans to replace me… if they don’t already have those plans in place. So I’m stuck hiding an otherwise minor injury, like some fucking horse afraid of being put down for spraining a leg. I like Denny. I really do. And I’m glad he’s on our team because he’s an amazing player, but do I feel twinges of envy?Morethan twinges. I don’t think it’s jealousy, though.”

He inhaled and forced the words out. “But what if it is? Like I said, I’m not the most self-aware guy. What if this is jealousy, and I’m kidding myself, and I really am the asshole who let him get hurt?”

“Can you walk me through that game?”

He hesitated.

“Mace?”

He forced his gaze up to hers. “There are reasons why I worry that I did it on purpose. Things that happened that night.”

Her hands tightened on his. “Let me say this, right up front, Mason. If you had a spurt of jealousy and let him get hurt, I would understand that completely. I have had some…” She swallowed. “Some thoughts about my ex’s new girlfriend that really do not reflect well on me. I don’t know her, but I’m sure she didn’t need to seduce him, and even if she did, then she set me free, and I feel bad for what’s inherfuture. But I still get these moments where I think of all the nasty things I’d like to have happen to her, and then I’m ashamed.”

She looked at him. “If you let Denny get hurt out of jealousy, then I know you regret it. That’s not the person you want to be, which is all that matters to me.”

With each word she said, the tightness in his chest eased.

What was he most afraid of?

Realizing he’d been a bitter aging athlete who vented his frustration on an innocent young player. He didn’t want to be that guy. Ever. He’d seen that guy. Faced him on the team, and all he’d felt was pity. He did not want to be pitied.

But he was also afraid of Gemma thinking he’d been that guy. That she’d want nothing to do with him if he made that mistake. If thatiswhat he’d done and ifshecould forgive him, maybe he could forgive himself.

“I was in a bad mood,” he said. “Nothing to do with hockey. I don’t… I don’t talk to my dad much, and Nonna tries to run interference, and I’m torn between not wanting to deal with his bullshit and thinking I should suck it up for her. Nonna wanted me to visit him, and that put me in a bad mood. Then I get a text from the coach saying they wanted me in early for a media interview. Already being in a mood, that made me even crankier because interviews are supposed to take place early on game day so they don’t cut into my pregame rest time. But I never argue. So I show up… and it’s for a piece on aging players and their post-career plans.”

Gemma winced.

Mason continued, “I get a lot of that these days. Like, let’s just keep reminding the old guy that he’s old. I don’t handle it well. I get defensive. Ask them where they got the idea I was retiring, trot out my stats, how they’re better than they were five years ago. I dothat interview, but it puts me in a worse mood. Then it’s game time. I skate out, like usual, and take my place. The fans make noise—cheering or jeering for me—and that’s all good. A few moments later, Denny skates out and… I don’t know whether he gets more cheering than me. Usually I try not to measure that or it’ll eat me up. But that night, it’s different. His applause was definitely bigger, and then I see why.”

His stomach twists, and he shifts, embarrassed by this next part. “You know how when I skate out, I get an animation? On the screen?”

She smiled. “I do. It’s very cute.”

“It is, and I never thought much of it. No one else gets one, but I figured that’s just the AV guys playing to the crowd, winding them up. It’s part of the show and not really about me. That night though… Fuck, this sounds so childish.” He snuck a look at her. “Denny got an animation, too.”

“And you weren’t warned.”

Again, he wants to dodge and deny. Really? He’d been upset because another player got a silly animation on the scoreboard? How old was he? Five?

He shook his head. “No one told me, and I get that, because it’s such a little thing.”

“Uh, no, it’s not. You were the only player introduced that way, and there already had to be some sense of competition between you and Denny, no matter how well you get along. The hotshot rookie versus the aging powerhouse. It’s a classic setup, and if you ask me, giving Denny an animation was a deliberate attempt to play into that narrative. Yours is because you have a nickname and a signature move. Does Denny have that yet?”

Mason shook his head.

“So what was his animation?”

“A shooting star.”

She cursed. “Does his name or nickname haveanythingto do with stars?”

“No.”

---