Page 5 of Cold as Hell

“Considering the nature of the case,” I say, “I’m going to be here.”

“She was not sexually assaulted. Nor is it clear that was her attacker’s intention. If it were, I would have asked you to be here myself.”

“Even if the motivation is unclear but shewasdosed, that could mean other residents have already been dosed and assaulted.”

“No one has come to me with such concerns.”

“But…” I gentle my tone. “If they were dosed, they may not be aware that what happened was nonconsensual. Or they may not come to the doctor unless there was… damage.”

“Oh.” She colors a little. “Yes, of course. I had not considered that.”

“May I see your patient, April?”

She nods. Then she pauses, and visibly girds herself before saying, “You were right to come.”

I could tease her about finding that so hard to admit, but itishard. Being wrong upsets her. It feels like failure.

April leads me into the examination room, where Kendra sits cross-legged on the table.

“Lie down,” April says. “You have been drugged and should not attempt sitting.”

Kendra salutes and stretches out, arms folded over her chest like a corpse. “Can I at least get a pillow?”

I grab two from the next room, and Kendra flips onto her side, hugging one pillow as she props onto her arm.

“I will be in my office,” April says.

When April’s gone, Kendra tells me her story. She’d gone to the Roc with Yolanda. Anders and Gunnar had joined them for a while. Then Kendra had invited Lynn over, and Gunnar slipped off, with Anders following shortly after.

Kendra had two drinks, which was one past her norm, so when she’d felt tipsy after leaving, she blamed the extra booze. The problem with being intoxicated—by booze or drugs—is that your brain isn’t working well enough to assess whether “I just had too much to drink” is a valid explanation for what you’re experiencing.

The memory holes start after Yolanda left shortly before closing. Kendra stayed until the end with Lynn—having invited the other woman to join them, she didn’t want to abandon her. The next thing Kendra remembers is being on the deck of her residence, having apparently gone in and found the toilets occupied.

Unable to wait for a toilet, she’d headed for the woods. Time stutters there, as if she’d been blacking out. Someone attacked her, knocking her down and dragging her into the forest. She managed to scream, which is when Sebastian heard her—he’dbeen taking his dog, Raoul, for a bedtime walk. Sebastian came running, which scared off Kendra’s attacker.

“I didn’t see who grabbed me,” Kendra says. “I can’t even say for sure it was a man.” She fusses with the pillows. “I know I might have been drugged, but I still can’t believe I didn’t take two seconds to look at who had me.”

“Because you were fighting for your life, not thinking about making an ID. No one is going to wish you’d taken that risk to catch this person. That’s my job.”

Her eyes fill. “Thank you. I’m hoping I did catch a glimpse, and it’ll come to me later.”

I squeeze her hand. “Maybe it will, and if I’m a halfway decent detective, I’ll have already caught whoever attacked you.” I drop my voice. “While people think eyewitness accounts are the best kind of proof, they’re actually one of the least reliable.”

Kendra nods. “When I was doing social work, I had two clients who’d been wrongfully incarcerated because the victim saw an Indigenous person and ID’d them.”

“Here it might seem as if it’d be harder to get it wrong, but add drugs into the mix, and you could end up accidentally ID’ing the last person you saw at the bar. Or even Sebastian.”

Her smile softens. “Who is the one person I know didnotattack me. I’m so grateful he was out there. He’s proof that therapy can work, whatever someone’s condition.”

Kendra knows Sebastian’s diagnosis. He insists on that for all staff, partly because he thinks they deserve to know and partly to expand his network of “monitors”; having people watching him helps compensate for what he lacks—the inner voice that tells us things we shouldn’t do.

“Eric’s talking to Sebastian now,” I say, “and getting a look at the site to see whether he can pick up a trail.”

“I’m sure you want to be out there getting a look yourself. My questioning can wait. The crime scene cannot.”

“It’ll be fine.”

“So will I.” She meets my gaze. “I’m shook, but I’m okay.”

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