Page 5 of Shiver Me Satyr

“Oh, so you want to know the workings of our business as if you were a part of it?”

“Yes, aren’t I a part of it if my fortune funds it?”

“Is it your money that gives you an equal voice and right to know? Because I can tell you, I don’t have two pence to rub together. Chub grew up an orphan in the gutter. More than half the men aboard were sold into slavery before escaping and joining the boat. The richest person aboard is Catalina. Maybe you should go to the kitchen?”

“No, it’s the decent thing—”

“On my boat, all chores, voices, and people are equals. Period. If you want to know the contents of the contract between your family and the boat, you must be a member of the boat orwrite to your family to tell you…when we find a way to deliver your letter.”

“Everyone knows…but me?”

“When I say everyone has a voice, I mean an equal say in everything. Everyone on board voted on your fate before we met you…and I’d be glad of that if I were you. After having met you, I’d change my vote. Get out of my cabin and find a way to annoy me less, or you will walk the plank before sunrise. Do I make myself clear?”

“Clear as glass,” I sneer. “In fact, I can see right through you. Your craving. Your desire. You need a man like me to loosen you up. Did you dream of being Lady Penelope with my lips beneath your skirts? Your attraction makes you want to hold something over my head—put us on equal footing. As equals, you can ask me to give you the pleasure you know I can provide. If you want me—”

A jar of oregano oil smashes above my head, drenching me in the herbal concoction. That’s one way to dose me, I guess. “Aye, aye, Captain—”

My words are cut off by a knife flying past my head and lodging into the door.

“Get out,” she whispers. “Because I didn’t have to miss, and next time, I won’t.”

3

Captain Betts

“Go away,” I shout at the knock on the cabin door. I’m so angry, the top of my head hurts. It may blow off with the thundering of my blood. “If it’s Hybris on the other side of that door, I have another dagger ready to hurl at your head.”

“Good thing I’m a foot shorter than him,” Chub says as he enters. He looks up at the first knife I lodged in the door, the broken glass, and the oil stain. When he smells it, he rears back like he caught something foul. “You can kill him, you know. I mean—that’s what you’ve been hired to do.”

“Shush, shush,” I tsk, yanking him inside and slamming the door. “I want to kill him, just not in such shallow waters. If his head floats to shore, there may be a murder investigation. Plus, I must be provoked. I mean, I want to honor my contract, but I’m not the sort of woman to drive a knife through a man’s heart unless attacked—then all bets are off. Right now I’m breaking my word, but I’ll fulfill my promise eventually. Does that make me a bad person?”

“Nae, if you were a bad person, you’d be a better captain,” he says, giving me a half-smile that means I’m being a child. He’s condescending to everyone, but I guess that’s what you become when you’re older than dirt. Not one grey hair in his red beard, but nobody can live as much life as he has and not be ancient. Good thing this is his last voyage before settling down withCatalina in Mexico. He deserves some time outside of the sweet trade.

“I feel like a bad person because I smashed Teeth’s last jar of oregano salve. Now, Hybris will be in agony while the antidote drips down my door. The crew probably thinks I’ve lost my senses.”

“It would be a good thing if they did,” he replies in his cryptic way. He leads me across the cabin to the map room and invites me to sit down at the battle plans we’ve been practicing with tiny replica boats. “This crew is used to sailing under ruthless Branko and his unhinged wife, Magda. Hell, some of them sailed with me under Blackbeard—and he put firecrackers in his beard. Didn’t care if he blew off his own face. That’s what happens when you lose your senses, not throwing jars at fresh-mouthed landlubbers. Your showdown increased the crew’s respect for you.”

“I feel like I’m not a very good captain,” I whine, folding my arms on the table and lowering my forehead into the crook of my arms.

“You aren’t, but who was? Teeth, who didn’t know his arse from his elbow? Branko, who spent half the time trying to please Magda and the other half fighting with her? Or Magda herself, who would drain the crew dry if they stepped out of line…when half the time they weren’t sure what she wanted?”

“Why have you never stepped into the captain’s role?”

“Blimey, ask me arse, but you’d have to be delusional to do that,” he says with a chuckle. “I hate the pageantry and bravado. I’m smart enough to avoid a job that requires a target on my back.”

“You’re smart,” I say with a tearful chuckle. I thought this job would be a breeze because my idiot brother-in-law was mypredecessor, but I was wrong. It takes an emotional intelligence that’s not taught in schools—whether they be brick houses or groups of Kraken hatchlings. Bravado is my sister and brother-in-law’s area of expertise. “What would you do? You’ve never steered me wrong.”

“Because I have twenty years at the helm,” he says with a chuckle while I groan at his bad pun. “Take some time to cool your head and stick to the plan of offing the gobshite when we make the turn around the Florida panhandle. In the meantime, give him hard labor. A good day’s work is just what that brat needs.”

“Maybe I’ll put him to work in the kitchen—”

“Now, Captain, let’s not be hasty,” Chub says, grabbing my arm to shake me a little. “If he ruins the crew’s food rations, there may be a mutiny.”

“Maybe they’ll push him overboard for me,” I reply with a bitter shrug. “Besides, how can he mess up those hardtack biscuits you eat?”

“Don’t mess with our tack,” he says, pointing a finger at me. “Bringing Leaf, a true cook, aboard saved Branko from certain mutiny. Catalina floated Teeth’s brief stint as captain and will make up for any mistakes you make. A full belly makes a crew overlook a lot of injustices—”

“I haven’t been unjust—inexperienced, maybe—but never unfair to them.”

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