Page 28 of Hooking Captain Teeth

Chub’s poetic pledge of love and prosperity fades into the background. I’m captivated by the differences in our hands. My missing fingers are obvious reminders of my lurid past. Chub’s beefy, stout fingers sport scars, blisters, callouses, and bruisesfrom life on the high seas. However, he also keeps his nails impeccably clean, and the whirls of hair at his wrist are pink fuzz that speak of the educated, well-mannered man he became. Do I have a hope of assimilating into a village or island society?

Despite Catalina’s money and Chub’s experience in the sweet trade, there aren’t wedding rings. IfPatricia’s Wishhad more luck, we’d have found heaps of treasure in the five years we’ve sailed. A trio of incompetent captains, a plague, and countless hurricanes doomed this boat to failure. While the best days of my life were spent behind the helm or the cannon, I have nothing to show for years of work. I have my stories, but those don’t buy farmland. Sabrina and I don’t have two nickels to rub together.

We can’t survive off the boat. She’s terrified to stay on the boat.

“I love you too, Ellis,” Catty wails as she throws her arms around the groom. As her lips plunder his mouth, her bouquet does its best to stab him.

Sabrina’s job as maid of honor is to rescue Chub from the flowers, but she’s glued to my side. I close my book of ceremonies and pry the bouquet from Catty’s fingers. My lady shakes as if the storm brewing struck her with lightning. All my protective instincts flare to life. The sweet trade is not for her,but luckily, neither is village life. We are no merchant or farmer and his wife. Sabrina must be free of the human world…and I wouldn’t mind shedding more of society’s shackles either.

The pressure on my inner elbow changes as Sabrina shrinks a few inches. Her feet must be morphing into tentacle tips. Good thing my giant duster will cover her transformation but leave her precious soulbeak exposed for my cunning plan.

“Get your captain some rum!” My shouts are met with cheers and whistles from the crew. The band kicks up a lively jig. Chub’s fingers tap the side of his leg. One announcement, and they will dance until the heavens pour rain upon us. Let them think I’m toasting the newly married couple. I chose to enter this life when life on land was too constricting. The sweet trade’s noose tightens around my neck. It’s time to leave again.

“I said, someone water your captain!” My shout grows terse with urgency.

The last time I felt this certain, I stood on the gangplank of theQueen Anne’s Revenge. The crowd’s mood wavers with uncertainty as my tone gives away my inner turmoil. This is goodbye on my terms. After a healthy moment too long, Eze scrambles down the sterncastle’s deck stairs.

Of course, the nutmegs would leave the helm unattended because the rest of the crew couldn’t be arsed. Even Chub rolls his eyes at their incompetence. He steals Eze’s flask and throws a hit down his gullet. I must take advantage of Sabrina’s diverted attention and the element of surprise! His book thuds on the deck as I wrap my arm around Sabrina’s shoulders and the other arm behind her knees. She squawks as I raise her to my chest.

“Catalina, would you pour, please.”

“You want me to fetch a cup?” Avast ye, I forget how sheltered she is. I’d ask Chub, but I don’t think Sabrina wants another man close to her delicate belly.

“A shot in my lady’s naval if you please,” I request. My arms tighten to metal bonds as Sabrina squirms. Catalina pours half the bottle over Sabrina’s wiggling belly. Enough liquid filters through the lace panel on the jacket’s front to soften her soulbeak.

“Please,” she whispers, tears threatening to spill over her cheeks.

“Here’s to true love,” I shout as I slurp the grog from my lady’s body. My teeth snap threads of silk as I root around the soulbeak. The flat of my tongue flicks it into my mouth.

Bettina wails in the crowd when she realizes what I’ve done. She launches herself at me, batting my shoulder with tiny fists. Catalina retreats intoChub’s embrace. The crew’s shouts of ‘traitor’ amongst the jeers and roars break my heart. They would have loved Sabrina, but I couldn’t take the chance on them. If I doomed her to a life in one room, I’d never forgive myself. Wild things like Sabrina and me need space more than air.

“Fecking lot!” My shouts become scrambled cries as my mind blanks.

The pain in my knees, feet, and ankles eclipses the times I’ve been shot, stabbed, and burnt. I lower to the ground at half the speed of a fall as my legs divide into tentacles. Chub shouts something about removing my boots. Errant appendages thrust from my body and pound the deck, blistering the planks into splinters. The suckers along them open and close as I collect sensory information about my surroundings. I tear at my leathers hanging in tatters around my waist. When I free my gills from their clutches, I huff with renewed vigor.

Instincts stronger than I have ever known course through my veins. My tentacles slink and stalk until they meet with Sabrina’s thinner tentacles. I twine them with hers, wrapping us in a ball of strength.

“We must go overboard,” I say between pants, “or I’ll breed you right here and now.”

“Why didyou choose this?” She takes my face into her hands and presses our foreheads together.

“I chose the best place for us,” I reply. Her tears fall onto my cheeks. “Just because I’m determined to be with you doesn’t doom you to a life of misery. I’d be a terrible husband if I didn’t want to make you happy above all else. I see your struggles with humans—”

“You see me,” she says, leaning back to stare into my eyes.

“Yes, Sabs, I finally see you.”

“Oi! Now what! A Kraken for a captain?!” The rude shout from the crowd earns Chub’s icy glare. If he identifies them, they will boil beans for the crew and swab the poop deck the morning after.

“No, aformerKraken as a Captain,” I shout with a chuckle. I throw Catalina’s bouquet to Bettina, who fumbles it but recovers. “Long live, Captain Betts!”

“Long live, Captain Betts!” The chant rings from the ratlines above and the bilge tanks below. Fists and flasks are raised in support of Bettina’s taking over the boat. Chub nods his approval before nuzzling the neck of his new wife. As much as he deserves the promotion, he’s on his way out of the sweet trade and wouldn’t want to be sucked back in like a whale caught in a whirlpool.

“As your Captain, I now pronounce bothcouples—husbands and wives! You may now kiss your brides!” Bettina's shouts are accompanied by a frenzy of cheers. She pumps the bouquet over her head like a champion sword, and the crew rallies for a battle.

Chub wastes no time in bending Catalina into a low dip and kissing her senselessly.

“Wives—plural?” Sabrina murmurs.

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