Page 20 of Hooking Captain Teeth

Shots ring out over my head as Chub fires a long gun from behind the wheel, and Catalina fires her long gun from behind the kitchen door. He’ll spank the daylights out of her for joining the fray. But when she sends Greenhorn’s grappling opponent to the pearly gates, I thank my lucky stars she didn’t listen to Chub. The poor youngster had no idea of his error until his boots hit the deck. His vacant stare and slow movements undermine his bravado. He will go into shock before this battle is finished.

My sword clangs as it cuts through the brass cups of the soldier’s swords. Each man is disarmed and dispatched in seconds—that’s why I’ve held onto this sword for my entire career. I stole it from a drunken ogre and built my upper body muscles until I could carry it one-handed. Under Blackbeard, my skinny frame swung the blade wildly with two hands and my eyes closed. Now, the blade doesn’t leave my right hand as I stare down my next opponent…as the life drains from my current one. Speaking of my next opponent, what happened to that irritating wench? Is she cowering in the gunnery trench, crying into her skirts?

Irear back to slash the man who locked swords with me across the throat and dodge the spurt of blood from his jugular before daring to scan the decks.

A pair of officers stand back-to-back in front of the captain’s quarters. Don’t they know the captain fell from the crow’s nest into the drink? Or do they hide another secret to this Galleon that’s not military but full of soldiers? Two soldiers flank me with sissy-pitched battle cries. I behead one with my longsword before firing my one-shot pistol at the other.

Sigh. Time to reload the little bastard.

I better help Eze, who’s engaged them in combat with the help of a handful of his closest mates. Once you fly the ratlines and share a sail with a group of guys, you’re brothers. However, my green mateys are no match for officers who carry colonial cup hilt rapiers with steel hilts. Those don’t snap under the pressure of our thicker swords and axes.

Dammit, a short soldier rushes me, and I’m forced to wrap my arm around his neck. With my sword sheathed, a cotton wad in one hand and my pistol dangling from the other, I snap his neck with my elbow.

“Boys,” yells the wench as she races past me. “Yoohoo, boys!”

She skids to a stop before the officers. The sailors andpirates are a foot taller than her, but her dainty, feminine voice halts them mid-battle. Tucking her cat-o-nine tails under her elbow, she rips apart her blouse and tears down her chemise with both hands. Sweet, innocent cotton flutters to the deck like the white flag of surrender…taking the tongues from every man’s mouth. With deadly accuracy, she unfurls her weapon and wraps the leather around the sailors’ necks. As they watch her dairy swing with hungry eyes, she tightens her noose and cracks their necks.

Bloody hell.The two bodies fall into the arms of my pirates, ending the battle before it starts.

“Where did you learn to fight like that?”

“My sister,” she says with a shake of her head. “She likes to flash the smarts out of men’s heads for sport, but she isn’t a pirate if that’s what you think.”

“And the cat-o-nine’s work? Did she teach you that as well?” If I hadn’t found my lady love, the wench’s mysterious sister would be right up my alley. As it stands, Sabs and Catalina would love to make friends with a woman like her.

“Oh no, that move was instinct,” the wench says, accepting Eze’s help to rewind her weapon. “My other form is a Kraken. This boat is yours to loot, and now you can help me save Sabrina. She’s in trouble and sent me—her sister, Bettina—to you.”

“Sinkthe boat—we’re returning to Trinidad!” My crew freezes in place and looks at me with a thousand questions swimming in their eyes. Out of respect, no one voices their objections, but I owe them more than a barked order. “Got ahead of myself. Eze and your lot—check what the officers protected in the captain’s quarters. Barrel, take a group and empty the armory.”

“I’ll lead Greenhorn and the group on the forecastle deck to clear out the kitchen,” Chub says from behind me. Catalina stands in his place at our helm with the master of cannons, who I still can’t name. “You don’t have to ask. A quality quartermaster reads the mind of his captain.”

Bloody cheek.

A strumpet from Maude’s tavern spills out of the captain’s quarters and onto the deck. She holds her dairy in one arm while yanking her corset down to cover her marriage box with the other. Her rouge and lip smear blot the wooden planks—probably leaving permanent circles behind.

“Please, Teeth,” she begs until I bristle at her using my familiar name. “Please, Captain, have mercy. I was hired on as their doxie less than a day ago. I’ll tell you everything I heard them say if you let me live. I’ll service your crew. I’ll kiss your toes—”

I back away as she crawls toward me. With her familiarity, I’m sure she’s ridden my sugarstick in thedistant past. She’s a pitiful creature really, slinking along the floor like a used handkerchief. Eze approaches her on silent feet. His dagger is poised above her head as he awaits my signal. She hasn’t a clue how close she is to death’s door.

I peek at Sabrina’s sister with a side-eye. She winds her whip around her elbow as if the fate of this woman is none of her concern. My future sister-in-law is cold as ice.

“We will take you back to Trinidad where you can return to Maude’s employ—” I pause for Eze to sheathe his dagger “—but stay away from my toes and quarters. Eze will be your shadow. Give him the secrets you overheard and whatever else you planned to share with me.”

I don’t know who is happier, the former doxie or my ratline climber. He’s taken more shifts watching the wheel while we parlay ashore than any other crew member. It’s time to give him a job that’s not a hardship to even the scales. As the pair scramble across the gangplank, I supervise the looting of the ship.

“Do you have a plan to rescue Sabrina?”Please say yes.Please let this irritating wench say she needs firepower or blades to cut down foes to size.

“Then what would I need pirates for?” The hope shiningin her eyes is sharper than her cutthroat fighting style.

“Chub,” I call as he approaches the gangplank with a flour sack on each shoulder. The top of the burlap is chin height despite its lofted perch on my friend. What he lacks in height, he more than makes up in brains and brawn—which is what I need. “We’re meeting with Bettina in the captain’s quarters once we cut this boat loose. We need a plan. Sabrina’s in trouble.”

“Aye, aye, Captain!”

11

Sabrina

I die tonight, and I’m oddly comforted by the fact. This show is the last time Barnabie will pull my hair, grab my tentacles, and fondle my breasts while the audience laughs and cheers. The weights on my wrists make it impossible for me to fight him. My humiliation ends tonight when the full moon rises. The tentacles that landed me in this freak show will fuse into two legs. The leering men in the crowd—including Pastor Richard, who attended alone—will finally take a glimpse of my cunt as my drowned human form floats to the surface of my tank. I hope they enjoy the view.

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