Page 21 of Lucci

After parking my car, I got out and walked around to the passenger side to open Breezy’s door. Once she was out of the car, I closed the door and pressed my body into hers so that she was up against the car. “You were my friend first.” Placing a kiss on the corner of her lips, my hand went around her throat. “You gon’ choose her over me?” Before she could answer, I snaked my tongue into her mouth and tongued her down like we were tucked away somewhere private rather than outside in the open. It was dark out, but people were still out.

When we broke the kiss, Breezy shook her head at me. “You’re not playing fair.”

“Never.” I assured her.

We made our way down the board walk then out onto the beach. I found a spot that didn’t have anyone else directly around, and we sat down. Breezy took her sandals off prompting me to grab her legs and place her feet in my lap.

“What are we doing? Am I just the fun rebound girl?”

I knew sooner or later the questions would come regardless of whether I had answers for them or not. “Rebound? No.”

“Lucci, you haven’t even been single for a month. You ran to me because the attraction was there. But that doesn’t mean that we’ll be anything more than fuck buddies.”

“You can’t even use the word friend? I don’t look at you as just a fuck buddy, but I can’t sit here and tell you that I’m dating to jump right back into a relationship.”

“That’s fine. I’ve never been pressed to be in a relationship. I’m just wondering if we’re going to see each other consistently for months and then I look up one day and you’re back with her.”

“Breezy, what I can tell you with certainty is that right now, I’m where I want to be.” She didn’t respond, and I pulled a bluntfrom behind my ear. “How did you end up with a name like Breezy?”

She chuckled. “According to my father, when my mother was pregnant, she liked to open the windows and let the breeze in. Supposedly, she loved a good breeze. I can’t tell you if that’s true because I don’t talk to her.”

I turned to look at her as I sucked weed smoke into my lungs. “Why?”

“She was never interested in being a mother. When she got pregnant, I assume she only kept me to keep my father from killing her ass, but she doesn’t have a maternal bone in her body. She used to pretty much neglect me until my father got fed up and put her out. She left and never attempted to be in my life full-time.”

“Damn that’s messed up.”

Breezy shrugged. “It doesn’t really bother me anymore. I don’t care who it is. I don’t want anyone in my life that doesn’t want to be there.”

I passed her the blunt and turned my attention back to the calming waves of the ocean. My thoughts switched to Tyler, and I closed my eyes. He dominated my thoughts most days. He was the first thing I thought about when I woke up in the mornings, and the last thing I thought about at night before sleep found me. Eyes still closed, I bowed my head and tried to keep my emotions from taking me to a place that I didn’t want to be.

I was in such a zone that I didn’t realize Breezy had stood up until she was behind me, wrapping her arms around me and resting her face on my back. I opened my eyes and saw the blunt she was trying to give me. I plucked it from her fingers, and she squeezed me tighter. Sitting behind me with her legs stretched out on each side of me, Breezy comforted me without words. Her touch, the sound of the waves, and the weed kept me in a safe place mentally. We smoked in silence. The blunt had been gonefor about ten minutes, when I turned my face to the side and spoke over my shoulder.

“Come here.”

Breezy ended up in my lap straddling me.

“We going to your place or mine?” I kissed her shoulder. “Or do you want to cut out the fuck part and just be buddies?” I peered into her eyes.

“I like the fuck part.”

That got a laugh out of me. “I bet you do. Freaky ass.” I suckled Breezy’s bottom lip before snaking my tongue into her mouth. “We can go to my place. Come on.” Breezy attempted to stand up, but I wrapped my arms around her to prevent it. “And for the record, I’m big on loyalty. I’d never hurt you. Not on purpose.”

Breezy nodded, and I removed my arms allowing her to stand up. I had managed to do something I never wanted to do and that was hurt Kiandra. Every day I thought about apologizing, but I was afraid that if I contacted her, she’d want me to come back. I was torn like a muhfucka because since meeting Breezy, I could no longer settle for someone that I wasn’t fucked up about. It wasn’t lust with Breezy. I rocked with her and having to leave her alone to get back with Kiandra would mess me up.

But something was telling me that as long as Kiandra wasn’t over me and wanted to be with me that one of them would end up being the very thing that I didn’t want them to be.

Two days later, the one thing that I had been dreading happened. Kiandra reached out to me. She said she wanted to talk, but she also asked me if I could give her a ride somewhere because she had dropped her car off to get a crack in thewindshield fixed. When I arrived at the house, I didn’t even get out and go to the door. I texted her and let her know that I was outside. It felt like I was on my way to court the way I wasn’t looking forward to a conversation with Kiandra.

She walked out to the car looking nice in a peach-colored maxi dress. Her hair was full of loose curls, and it looked like she had makeup on. I was staring so hard that she was almost at the door when I realized I hadn’t even got out and opened it for her.

“My bad. I got that,” I made my way around the car as she placed her hand on the door handle. “You look nice. Where am I dropping you off?”

“Scrambled. I’m going to brunch.”

“Bet,” I bobbed my head.

The tension in the car was thick enough to slice with a knife. I decided to go ahead and be a man about my shit. I hadn’t lied about anything I said to her but the way I said it wasn’t cool. “I’m sorry about how I spazzed that night. Me grieving isn’t an excuse to be an asshole. You didn’t deserve that.”

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