Page 9 of Stripped Down at the Fair

Slowly, I cracked open the bedroom door and peeked outside. The kitchen was empty, the table cleared, and the lights off. How did he clean up so fast? My guess was he tossed everything in the sink and called it a day.

That meant he was in his bedroom. I pulled my door open and stepped out, tiptoeing for no good reason. Sure enough, the only other door was closed.

I weighed my options. I could brush my teeth in the kitchen sink, but that seemed wrong somehow. So instead, I lowered myself off tiptoe and started toward the other door, my heart hammering and my breaths coming in shallow spurts.

I stopped in front of the door and listened for any signs of life on the other side. Nothing. Finally, I shifted my toiletries to my non-dominant hand and knocked.

“Come in,” the male voice said.

I opened the door a crack and peeked inside. The room was dark, but enough light streamed in from the window next to the bed that he’d be able to at least make out my form. He wouldn’t see the color of my panties, though. That was a good thing.

“I was going to brush my teeth before bed,” I said.

Normally, I’d hold up the toothbrush and toothpaste to demonstrate, but I was trying to stay in the dark. I stared at the outline of the lump on the bed, assuming that was him. What if it wasn’t? What if he was in the bathroom and I was talking to an empty room?

“Go ahead,” he said.

I breathed a sigh of relief before realizing I had to open this door to go inside. My arm was shaky. I elbowed the door open, then with an equally shaky hand, I pulled it closed.

It was still a little too bright for my taste. He’d be able to make out every curve as I crossed the room. I had to remind myself that didn’t mean he could see the color or cut of my cotton briefs.

The trembling had spread to my legs. I noticed that as I crossed the room. I just hoped my legs would hold me up until I was safely tucked behind the closed door. Having your date collapse to the floor was definitely not a turn-on.

Date. The word stuck in my mind as I stared at myself in the mirror and twisted the faucet to turn on the cold water. Was that what this was? I was about to sleep with him. He’d fed me a pretty expensive meal—ribeye, which was a pricey cut of meat. But men had bought more expensive meals than that in the name of getting laid.

Would that be what this turned into? A one-night stand? He’d delete my number from his phone afterward and never speak to me again…after making sure I was safely back with my disgruntled, miserable roommate.

I suddenly snapped out of my unproductive thoughts and wondered how long I’d been standing there, cold water running, toothbrush and toothpaste in my left hand. Was this a panic attack, or just the usual worry?

It was a big move. But even if it turned out to be a one-time thing, it would be worth it. I would have lost my virginity to the most interesting, best-looking guy I’d ever seen. It would be a memory I could relive for the rest of my life.

That thought snapped me out of it. At this point, I was just delaying the moment. Time to get started. Time to get out there and lose my virginity.

I brushed my teeth and set the toothbrush and toothpaste neatly on the counter next to the sink. Then I doubted myself. Maybe I should take them back to my room. I didn’t want him to see them and panic, thinking I was trying to move in or something. Didn’t guys get weird about stuff like that?

Finally, I rolled my eyes at myself. If he jumped to that conclusion, that was his problem. I wasn’t going back to my room to store my dental supplies to avoid scaring a grown-ass man.

“You’re beautiful. You’re confident. You can do this.”

With that whispered pep talk, I turned and yanked open the door. And that was when I realized I’d forgotten to switch off the bathroom light.

I was standing in the doorway, my entire body on full display. I may as well have been standing in a spotlight.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he said.

Those words slashed through every fear I’d been having. Every piece of negative self-talk from years of being ignored—by men and everyone else, really—dropped like a heavy, dark cloak I hadn’t even realized I was wearing.

I leaned back and reached over to flip off the light switch, but his voice froze me. “Leave it on. I want to see you. All of you.”

So much for hiding my bargain-basement undies. But I had a feeling they’d be off soon enough. Maybe I should’ve taken them off in the bathroom. Would that have been weird? I wished someone taught a class on this stuff.

Taking a deep breath, I started across the room. My heart was hammering against the wall of my chest as I crossed to the bed. Only as I got closer could I see Dustin’s face. I couldn’t make out any details, and maybe that was a good thing. It meant he couldn’t make out my details either.

“Take off your shirt,” he said.

My heart skipped a beat. I should feel a sinking sense of dread. I was standing there in boring underwear, with my shirt off. But instead, there was a catch in his voice that changed everything. It made me excited to get naked in front of him. He wanted my clothes gone as quickly as possible.

That was why I confidently jerked the T-shirt over my head. As I did so, I kept my gaze focused on him, resisting the temptation to look down and try to see myself as he saw me.

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