Page 64 of The Drummer

I scratch at my cheek as embarrassment chips at the previous enthusiasm. Unlike Luke, she’d have no idea what’s happening. There’s a vulnerability to the challenge of transforming an idea into something tangible. It’s hard enough on your own, let alone in front of a virtual stranger who doesn’t understand the metamorphosis.

I feel almost nervous as I grip the neck of the guitar and build the courage to face her. What if she just lost all faith in me? I’m used to facing criticism and disdain, but I don’t think I could handle it now. Not from her. Forthis.

She shifts on the couch, as if trying to get my attention, and I finally find the strength to meet her gaze.

A look of gentle wonder blasts away the fear. “That was amazing,” she says, her gaze running over my face, the guitar,back to my face like she can’t believe what she just saw. “I never thought my words could sound like that,” she whispers.

The rest of the wall crumbles. There’s nothing she could have said that would’ve brought greater joy. That’s exactly what music is supposed to do and exactly what a moment like this is supposed to be.

A smile breaks on my lips as I return my focus to the guitar. Reassured, I let the music consume me fully and completely. If she wants her words to transcend, then lets shoot them into the fucking stars.

CHAPTER TEN

I sent Callie back to wherever she goes when she’s not in our mess to retrieve her laptop. It’s funny how I hadn’t really thought about the fact that she has another life somewhere else. She’s become so embedded in my world, I forgot she wasn’t a part of it until two days ago.

She has a story too. Dreams, trauma. Family? I don’t even know. She learned more about me in one conversation than I’ve learned in the entire time I’ve known her. I need to do a better job focusing on her and not getting so wrapped up in my own drama.

I’ve just finished putting in a lunch order when Luke makes his way down the hall.

“I heard the door. She leave?” he asks.

There’s a hint of panic in his tone I know well.

“Just to get her laptop. She’ll be back. Hey, what do you know about her, anyway?”

“What do you mean?”

“What’s her story? She just drops her life and moves into ours? Who does that?”

He frowns. “You say that like you don’t trust her. She’s not after anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m not. It’s just everything since she’s been here is about us. Don’t you want to know her story as well?”

He shrugs and leans on the counter. “She’s shared some stuff. My honest opinion? I think she’s just as lost as we are. Helping us with our shit is giving her meaning. You see how she is. She needs someone to fix as much as we need to be fixed.”

I stare at my phone as if it’s a sudden link to her. So she was searching for broken souls at the same time we needed an angel. Serendipitous or a cosmic joke? Guess it depends which side of the disaster you’re on.

“You ordering food?” Luke asks, nodding toward my phone.

“Already did. I got you green curry. That okay?”

He lifts a shoulder in agreement.

“What about for Callie?” he asks.

“I got a few things. Figured we could share.”

He nods and moves to the fridge for a sports drink. I feel his gaze on me as he twists off the cap, but pretend to watch my screen. I’m not sure I’m ready for whatever he’s thinking.

“Case?” There’s a crack in his voice that sends a chill through me.

“Yeah?” I say as casually as possible.

I look up and squirm at the way he scans my face, like he’s struggling to say something, and my fingers tighten around the phone.

“You know it’s not your fault, right? If anything ever happened to me… there’s nothing you could have done to stop it.”

I go ice cold.

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