Page 117 of Perfect Three

Over five weeks passed and Lucy binged, then she’d starve herself.She’d gone days without a shower or bath.Nothing could get her out of this hell hole.Instead, she’d sunk deeper.Now, so disconsolate, she started thinking about taking her own life.The more she thought about it, the more the idea appealed.

She found herself spiraling downward, down toward a dark, deep, black hole.There was a tiny light still at the top that she tried to cling to, but then the deeper she went the more attractive it was until finally the dim light disappeared.

Cocooned in the heavy darkness, all her pain disappeared.If she stayed there nothing could touch her.No one could ever hurt her again.She stayed in bed, wrapped in her grief.

Then one Saturday morning, at the end of January, Lucy became determined to solve her heartbreak once and forever.In her mind, she’d decided there was nothing left for her.She was unable to cope with the rest of her life alone.Couldn’t face the pain of each day.She just needed the courage to take this final step to let the welcoming darkness embrace her forever.

Lucy rummaged in the pantry and found a few bottles of white wine she had in case Geoffrey or Jack would like a glass with their meals.Pouring herself some into a mug, she took a big mouthful.

“Yuk!”She grimaced but took a second.

By the time it was empty, she figured she could tolerate a few more.Turning the stereo on full blast, she wandered through the house, wine bottle in hand.Every now and again she’d drink from it until finally nothing was left.

Lucy went back into the kitchen and opened another bottle.

She felt weird.It was almost like sub-space, so she drank another mouthful.The room spun nicely as she tried dancing through the house along with the music.She stumbled back out to the kitchen, falling against the fridge.

“What was I drinking for?”she demanded of it.“That’s right.My fucking bitch of a daughter!Well, soon, she won’t have to worry about me anymore!”

Off she went into the front room, taking another swig or two from the bottle.Lucy couldn’t stand straight.Instead, she rocked back and forth, staring into space, crying softly.

Allison walked into the room.

Chapter Forty-Eight

Allison drove to hermother’s.She hadn’t heard from her for over a week and was more than a little worried.She hadn’t even come to dinner Thursday night and hadn’t phoned with a reason.The previous Thursday she’d phoned to say she had a migraine and couldn’t come over.Something wasn’t right.

Allison thought Christmas Day would make her mother see sense, but instead she seemed locked inside herself.It had shocked Allison to see how her mother looked.She’d lost weight, her hair drab and oily.Lucy had been so strange lately, as if she’d given up on life.

No, that was wrong.She’d been different since the afternoon of the twins’ birthday party six weeks ago.

She knew Geoffrey thought she was wrong to make her mother choose between her grandchildren and those two men.He’d made no secret of his disapproval, but Allison didn’t want the kids growing up thinking it was fine to have two partners.She and Geoffrey had fought over it non-stop until Geoffrey told her that Lucy had begged him to stop and he would respect her wishes.But still it was a sore point between them and beginning to damage their relationship.

Allison loved Geoffrey dearly and it hurt her to have this coming between them.She kept thinking back to before the birthday party, remembering how happy her mother had been.

Her mother was really no longer the same woman.It wasn’t that she was just unhappy.It was as if a switch had been turned off deep inside her.Even when she was with the grandkids, she seemed to force her laughter.Her face was drawn.Allison thought she’d stopped caring about herself.And Allison struggled with the change in her mother.On top of all that, she absolutely hated that her mother ignored her the few times Lucy had come for dinner.It was as if Allison didn’t exist for her.Now she hadn’t seen Lucy for over two weeks, hadn’t heard from her since she phoned with that headache excuse the week earlier.Before everything had gone wrong, she and her mother would talk a few times a week and see each other at least once.Now—nothing.

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