Page 40 of Calm Before the Score

“That was amazing, son! I forgot what it was like to see you play in person, but the game was electric! You are so special!” Now she's crying happy tears.

“Don’t cry. You know that kills me.” I need her to stop crying before I break down from the overwhelming pressure I’ve felt these past few weeks.

“These are happy tears. I’m so proud of you.”She shouldn’t be.

“Me too. You were amazing out there, babe!” Violet adds.

“Alright, you two love birds. I’ll have Violet drive me home. Then, you two can go celebrate the big win.” The last thing I want to do right now is hang out in a bar with people who don’t care about me.

“I was thinking we could get dinner instead. I’m over the bar scene after games.” I look to Vi for approval.

“I would love that!” Violet beams. She steps on her tippy-toes to plant a kiss on my cheek.

“No, no, no, you two are young and should be out celebrating until the sun comes up. You don’t need to be stuck with me all night,” Mom rattles on.

“We want to,” Violet and I add. It’s two against one, so Mom finally complies with our request.

We decided on a small Italian restaurant on the opposite side of town from the bars. Violet and my mom aren’t picky. I crave carbs after a game, and pasta sounds sinfully good right now. The hostess seats us in a back booth away from everyone. This restaurant is cozy, with worn-down booths carved with rips and old lights hanging low from the ceiling. It’s dim, and the menus are faded. I love places like this. If the menus weren’t worn, that would mean the food sucks. Now, I have time to ask Violet how she pulled this surprise off.

“How did you do this, Vi?” My eyes flash between her and my mom.

“I saw how stressed you were about the game, and I knew your mom hadn’t been to any recently. She gave me her number over Christmas break. We figured out what she would need to bring to feel secure at the game, and I drove to her house right after you left this morning. We took our time on the drive and had a buffer to stop for coffee before heading to the field!” I don’t deserve this girl. She thinks of everything that would make my heart burst.

“You’ve got a good one, Ry. She planned it all out. I would trust this one with my life.” She leans over the table to grab my girlfriend’s hands. Mom has a look of true adoration for her in her eyes.

“Thank you,” I say to both of them.

I’m a man of few words, but both of these women know how much this means to me. After we eat our pasta, I request the check. My phone vibrates in my pocket repeatedly. It has to be important, but I don’t want to ruin this moment. Pulling it half-way out of my pocket,Logan,flashes on the screen. Pushing off the inevitable a little bit longer sounds good to me. I deny his call and put it to the back of my mind until I get home. I don’t need this mess clouding my thoughts while I’m with them. We head to our cars, where I insist on bringing Mom home myself, but Violet refuses the offer.

“We had a fun girl’s drive. I don’t mind at all. Plus, you just played an entire football game. Go home and get some rest,” she insists with sincerity in her voice.

If she only knew what I’d gotten myself into.

“Alright. Thanks so much for this, babe. I can’t explain how much it means to me to have both of you watching me.” That’s about as emotional as it gets for me around other people. Violet knows how I am and appreciates the times when I expressmyself. I squeeze my frail mom in a tight hug before waving goodbye in my lonely car. I’m headed to my dismal rental house to deal with the demons that face me in solitude.

26

Ryan

Ipark in my dark driveway, fumbling with my keys to enter my home. I haven’t slept here in a few nights and need to clean a few things before returning Logan’s call. I’m stalling as long as I can. I never know what to expect when I talk to Logan.

After cleaning the kitchen, putting clothes away, and changing into my favorite pair of gray sweatpants, I check the clock to see it’s already past 11 p.m. I guess I have to call him back before he starts calling repeatedly. Sitting at the kitchen table, I tap his contact to call as my hands instinctively run through my messy hair. Logan answers on the third ring, “Nice wins tonight, man!” He catches me off guard with his loud tone. His words slur together with loud music playing in the background of our call.He’s drunk. This should be fun.

“The transfer is coming through at midnight, right?” I keep all of my conversations with him short and to the point. Details with people like him get messy.

“Any minute now! Whatcha got for next week? I already have the betting lines,” he says. The bumping sound of music continues. The last thing I need is drunk Logan spillinginformation about my betting wins to random people at a bar. I need to end this conversation.

“We’ll talk soon, not tonight,” I say, hoping to get off the phone as soon as possible.

“Call me tomorrow, winner-” His voice cuts off, and the call ends abruptly. Thank God that wasn’t long, and Logan didn’t drunkenly spill my secrets. The only thing to do in this house without Violet tonight is refresh my bank account until the money hits. Once I get the notification that it’s in the bank, I pass out in the main room and don’t wake up until noon.

Violet

This weekend couldn’t have gone any better. Ryan was completely shocked when he saw me with his mom at the game. I knew this would put him in good spirits for the playoffs. His mom was touched that I offered to bring her and help with her medical supply transport to and from the game. It’s the least I could do for them. They’ve given me something I’ve never known before:a real family.

Sure, I had my grandpa, but I always craved the type of household that others had. The kind that showed up for your school presentations and athletic events. Grandpa had so much on his plate. He tried his best and gave me a stable life. Unfortunately, he wasn’t always there for the little things. Hartley has always been my big brother, but something inside me craved the maternal figure that I never had.

Ms. Valerie, Ryan’s mom, gives me that. She welcomed me into her home with open arms. She’s made me feel so comfortable around her. Before we left during Christmas, she pulled me aside and told me that if I ever needed anything, she would be one phone call away. She also asked me to watch out for Ryan. The wild thing is, I know she means it, and I’m comfortable enough to ask.

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