Page 94 of Clichés & Curses

‘I could’ve gotten you both.’

‘Colton,’ I said softly. ‘You didn’t—’

He cut me off. ‘Can I say something first?’

I let out a heavy exhale, preparing myself for what he had to say. ‘Sure.’

Putting down the bag of bubble tea next to my bag, Colton took a deep breath once he stood back up. He made sure to put all his attention on me.

‘I know what I did—or accidentally did—on Wednesday was a jerk move. I just want to explain what happened on my side,’ he started. ‘I’ve been pulling a few all-nighters lately with some of my assignments, and when one of my classes on Wednesday got cancelled, I thought I would take a nap and catch up on some sleep. I just didn’t realize how tired I was, when I slept through my alarm. Unfortunately, it led me to miss the ASL class and our practice session.’

Now that he pointed it out, I did notice the circles under his eyes were slightly darker than when I had seen him last. My heart clenched a bit at the sight, for he really did look tired.

‘I know it sounds like a lame excuse, and I should’ve texted you earlier than I did about it. But—’ Colton broke off. ‘Shit, I just panicked, you know? We were already not on good terms, and the whole thing just came at the worst timing possible. I can only imagine how it must have looked from your side. Basically, what I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry for what happened on Wednesday. Regardless of what happened the last time we were here.’ His eyes wandered to our surroundings. ‘We’re still partners for ASL class, and I won’t take that for granted.’

I stayed quiet as I let his words hang in the air between us, understanding the hidden meaning of what he was trying to say. Colton was offering me one final out, to let our last in-person conversation become just a memory. He didn’t say it out loud, but I knew what he meant. He promised not to bring it up again, and that we could go back to being what we were before this rough patch in our friendship.

Back to safe territory.

Back to being friends.

All I needed to do was step back.

But I was done hiding.

‘Can I talk now?’ I said.

He gave me a nod. ‘Sure.’

‘I kept thinking about what you said,’ I started, ‘the last time we were here—about me being scared of this thing between us.’

He winced. ‘I was completely out of line saying that.’

‘I mean, youwerea little bit out of line,’ I agreed sheepishly. ‘But you were right. I am scared. I always thought I was open to the idea of love and relationships, but that’s not true. I keep finding reasons to push people away, before anything serious can happen. But when it came to you, I couldn’t find it in me to look for one, because even if there was any, it wouldn’t have mattered. That scared me,’ I told him, my voice shaky.

‘I like you, Colton. A lot. And I know I hurt you the last time we were here, but I think that was just my defence mechanism kicking in, before I even realized what it was,’ I said. ‘And I’m really sorry for hurting you the way that I did. You are a star athlete, but you’re also so much more than that to me. And I just wanted you to know that.’

I kept my eyes on his face throughout my monologue. But the heavy look on Colton’s face was just too much for me to handle after everything I had laid out. I darted them to the baseball field behind him instead, then to my shoes—anywhere but his face.

‘So, does that mean you’ll go on a date with me?’

My eyes immediately snapped up to his upon hearing his question.

‘What?’ I said, thinking I heard him wrong.

He gave me a small smile and signed the question to me, the same way he asked me the last time we were here. He voiced it out loud again, ‘Do you want to go on a date with me?’

I knew I should give him an answer, but all I could say was, ‘But why?’

‘Because I like you, and I want to go on a date with you,’ he reasoned with me, his words the same. And at that moment, I learned just how complicated I had made everything out to be, when it really should have just been that simple.

‘You still want to go on a date with me?’ I asked instead. ‘Even after everything I said to you last time?’

‘Yes, I do,’ he answered. ‘I can’t change the fact that I’m what you call a “star athlete”, his fingers mimicking air quotes at the two words, ‘but we’re still partners for ASL class for the rest of the semester. I was hoping that it’ll give me enough time for you to see past that part of me, when I asked you out again once the semester ended.’

My eyes widened at what he just said. ‘What? You were planning to ask me out again?’

‘I mean, if there’s one thing athletes do have in common, it is how they never give up. Also, you didn’t really give me a direct answer.’ He shot me a teasing look. ‘I might’ve come a bit too strong earlier, and I’m really sorry if any of the words I said last time hurt you in any way; it really wasn’t my intention. And come to think of it, those flowers were definitely not enough for my apology,’ he continued. ‘I mean, buying you a house seems like a good idea, but that seems a little bit excessive.’

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