Page 91 of Clichés & Curses

But it had never applied to anyone else before, not when the rose-coloured glasses of their allure were snatched off immediately once Iactuallygot to know them.

And I didn’t expect it to apply then.

I kept waiting for the same effect to happen to Colton, something to wake me from this daydream, but it never came.

And after trying so hard to search for other reasons as to why him and I couldn’t step out of the friendship territory—andfailing miserably each time I thought there was one—the only thing I could cling to was the curse. My only lifeline.

And now, if you took that curse away, I had nothing left. No more excuses. Everything was leading me in Colton’s direction and to agree to his date offer, to explore this thing between us.

Yet, I couldn’t find it in me to say yes.

‘Oh, honey.’ I heard my mom say. ‘What exactly are you scared of?’

‘I don’t know exactly,’ I started. ‘I think I’m scared of what happens afterward. Like, what if the date goes well? And what if I want to go on a second date? I have never been on second dates before.’

No one knew about my strike counts, but I was pretty sure Mom had caught on to it, since I never went on second dates with the same guy and relayed to her the details of why we wouldn’t work together.

‘Then, you go on the second date. And if that goes well too, you go on a third one,’ my mom explained fondly, as if I was a curious child asking about the simplest of things.

‘And what happens after that?’ I asked her.

‘Well, that’s for you to decide,’ she replied. ‘It’s okay to be scared. There’s nothing wrong with guarding yourself against getting hurt. Your heart is a precious thing, it deserves to be protected. Allowing your heart to fall in love can be a scary thing, and it’s okay to feel that way.’

‘Then how do I get over it? This fear?’

‘You don’t,’ Mom answered. ‘At least not right away. You just have to take it one step at a time each day. But the first move is to actually take that leap of faith with someone. If you’re lucky enough to find that person, hopefully, that leap will look a little less scary than it did before.’

Listening to her words reminded me of Eliza’s advice—how similar they were, and how well they complimented one another.Both Mom and Eliza had found someone that was worth taking the leap for, but were they ever scared to take that jump? I couldn’t really ask Eliza about it—at least not right now, but I could ask my mom.

I must’ve been stuck in my head for a while, when I heard my mom’s voice snapping me back to reality. ‘Clara?’

‘What about you and Dad?’ I blurted out, deciding to just voice out my thoughts. ‘Were you scared of falling in love with him?’

Silence stretched out for a moment. I couldn’t help but feel slightly awkward by asking her such a question, for we had never really talked about such things before. Just as I was about to brush off the topic, Mom’s voice stopped me.

‘I wasn’t actually,’ she started. ‘Scared to fall in love with him, I mean. But that might have to do with the fact that we were high schoolers when we started dating, and that it was a different time,’ she chuckled. ‘But what I will say is, your dad made it easy for me to fall in love with him, or at least made it easy for meto seemyself doing so. While the relationship didn’t end the way I had hoped, I will always cherish what we had and what we do have, because it brought me you and Eliza. You’ll always be the world’s greatest gift to me.’

I could feel my eyes start to tear up at her words. ‘You’re gonna make me cry.’

‘Well, I didn’t expect us to have such a sentimental conversation today.’ I heard her laugh, but the scratch in her voice told me she was shedding a few tears. ‘I might not know who the guy is, but if he’s got you to admit this to yourself, then maybe he deserves a shot. And if things don’t work out between you two, then that’s okay too. But just make sure you don’t let that fear hold you back from giving the right person a chance.’

I let her words hang in the quietness of my apartment, as I took each one of them to heart.

‘Thanks for the advice, Mom,’ I finally said, breaking the silence.

‘You’re welcome,’ she answered. ‘Anyway, I actually have to get ready for dinner. But will you be all right?’ Her voice got quiet towards the end, with the concern evident in her voice.

‘I’ll be fine,’ I told her. And it was true, I still had a lot to think about after our conversation, but I would be fine. ‘Enjoy dinner!’

She bid me goodbye, and we ended the call.

The soft sounds of cars on the street below accompanied me in the comfort of the living room as I reconvened everything my mom had just laid out for me.

The way I saw it, there were only two ways to go, when it came to me and Colton. To either let my fear hold me back from taking that step—to take that leap of faith with him, or embrace it, along with all its uncertainty.

And I thought I did want to take the leap; I had been for a while. All semester long, I had received nudges from the people around me: Nina, my sister, and heck, even Miles.

Now, all that was left for me, was to take that final step.

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