Page 69 of Redd

Chapter Fourteen

Bijou

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Is this really happening?

Redd's thumbs rolled smoothly over the plump bottom of my breasts, forcing a chill to break out over my skin. He was moving slowly, waiting and watching for my approval. Refusing to go higher or lower unless he knew I was agreeing to it.

I liked that. It was something I needed, a sliver of control when everything else around me was spinning on its axis in the wrong direction.

Inside my body tumbled, crumbling and dissolving into something I didn't recognize. My muscles were shaking, my brain was firing off and shutting down, opening to a whole new world of feelings.

All my walls came crashing down, breaking off like chunks of ice, leaving my frail heart open and beating for more.

“Will you let me give you this?” he asked, moving his hands up a little higher, and brushing the pads of his fingers over my nipples, turning them stiff. “I know you might not be ready, and I won't push you. If you want me to stop, I will. All you need to do is tell me.”

Is that what I want? Do I want him to stop?

My brain screamed to step back, but my body heated for more. I wanted him to touch me, to show me how kind a man's hands could be, to give me pleasure instead of pain.

Biting my lip, I shook my head no. “I don't think I want you to stop.” Lifting my hands to his arms, I held him. “I think I want this.”

Cupping my chin, he tilted my head up, and ran his thumb across my parted lips. “I didn't ask if you thought you wanted it, I asked if you'd let me give it to you. I told you I'm a man who takes, I wasn't lying when I said that. But no matter how much I want to take you, I won't. You need to know exactly what you want. Think you do—means there's doubt. There can't be any doubt, Bijou.”

It was as if those were the words that I needed to hear all along. I needed to have someone give me back my voice, I needed to have someone tell me to take control and force me to make a decision for myself.

Redd had done that. He had given me more choices than I could ever remember having. Thoughts, speech, decisions. . . He bundled them up and left them at my feet.

Pushing up on the tips of my toes, I curled my arms around his neck and pressed my face to his. The stubble on his jaw scraped my cheek, his warm breath flowed over my face and I breathed him in.

His skin smelled minty and musky, with a light woodsy aroma; all man, all hard, all firm and filled with hunger.

The thick muscle between his legs pinned itself against my inner thigh, snuggling in perfectly to the diamond-shaped cut out. Inhaling a sharp breath, I dragged my lips over his, barely touching, fluttering over the surface.

Looking up into his eyes, I held my mouth in place, keeping the small void that separated us. “I know what I want.” Whispering, I felt his chest expand as he sucked in the air around my face. “There are no doubts, Redd. I want you.”

Crushing my lips onto his, I kissed him. I kissed him because I could, I kissed him because I wanted to. And I kissed him to let him know that I had made my choice.

This is my decision.

Twining his fingers into my hair, Redd wrapped a strong arm around my waist and pulled me in. His tongue slipped into my mouth, fingertips burning against my scalp as he clutched my head.

Pulling away, he was breathing heavy and labored. His eyes were glossy and full of need as desire turned into small droplets of sweat against his forehead. “If this goes any further, I can't promise you I'll be able to control myself. Are you sure this is what you want?”

Wrapping my fingers around his jaw, I met his gaze. “I haven't been this sure about something in forever, so just shut up and take me.”

I wasn't going to have him battling himself through this. I made my decision, I didn't need him to keep breaking away to check on me. I knew he was worried about damaging me, I could see the fear in his eyes.

It was the first time I had actually registered true fear on his face. But I was already broken into a million pieces when he found me. . .

He couldn't hurt me anymore than I already was.

I needed him to realize that he had scraped the shards off the ground and was gluing them back together. Redd wasn't the reason for my pain, he was turning into my reason to keep going.

Forcefully, Redd smashed his lips against mine, our breathing intense and hot, our tongues flicking and swirling. In one strong swoop, he lifted me off my feet, and I curled my body around his.

He held me up as if I weighed nothing at all. I felt small in his embrace. His large hands cupped my ass, covering each cheek, thick forearms clung to my hips. The chiseled arms flexed and tightened, pulling me in like he couldn't get us close enough together.

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