Page 61 of Redd

Throwing his body over mine, he grabbed the door and slammed it shut. “Bijou—” he snapped, wrapping his hands around both my arms and turning me to look him in the eyes. “If she's here, and that man is looking for you, then he might be here too. You can't risk it. What if he's got guys watching her? Do you want him to think your family got you out? Do you want to give him a reason to kill them all?”

Sniffling, I rubbed my nose and looked down at the floor. “No.”

“Then you need to listen to me. I'm going to help you, but we need to do this my way. Climb in the back and get down, I don't want to take a chance that someone is watching for you.”

Nodding, I slipped between the seats and fell into the back. Quietly I began to sob, burying my face into my hands.

It was a stupid idea for me to try and reach out to her. I had reacted, not thinking clearly about what I could be leading to her.

She's here, she's okay. Which means. . .

“He's alright, he has to be alright still.” Talking into my hands, I tried to catch my breath and stop my chest from heaving gulps of air. “That's good, it has to be good she's here.”

“It's good, you're right. So don't do anything to change that.” Redd kept his head straight, talking low and barely moving his lips.

I needed to convince myself that seeing her was a sign, a silent confirmation that no one had gotten to them yet. If my father was dead, she wouldn't be in school, she'd be home, or worse—she'd belong to Diablo now.

He's still alive. . . They're all still alive.

“What's she doing?” I asked. If I couldn't talk to her, if I couldn't even sit there and look at her, I wanted him to talk to me. I needed to hear what she was doing.

“She's on her phone, texting I think. I can't really tell from here.”

“Is she looking this way?”

“No, why would she?”

“I don't know.” That was a lie. I wanted her to sense I was there. A part of me could feel her now, and I guess I wanted her to do the same. I wanted her to know I was with her, I wanted her head to come up and glance around, sensing her lost sibling.

“Bijou, I need you to trust me. I will get you back to your family. I promise you that.”

Sighing, I shut my eyes and laid my hands over my chest. “I wish I could believe you, Redd, I really do.”

It was the pain of seeing my sister and not calling out to her that hurt more than anything. I wanted to run up to her and give her a hug, I wanted to scream her name and see the look on her face when she realized it was me, that I wasn't dead.

What did our father say to her? How did he explain me just vanishing.

Peeking my head up over the trim of the door, I observed my little sister. Lila looked different now, she wasn't the thirteen year old girl I remembered.

Her hair was shorter, the tips colored a deep blue. She had on combat boots that went halfway up her calves and jeans riddled with holes. A small ring sparkled from the corner of her lip, and dark blue eye shadow coated her lids.

Our father let her pierce her lip? I guess everyone has changed since I've been gone.

When I saw her last, she was snuggled up in her bed, reading some book about hedgehogs. Her hair was tied in a braid, her nightgown was covered in puffy clouds and rainbows.

It was crazy to see what time could do. But I knew it was her, she had the same eyes, the same nose, the same splashed birthmark right above her left brow.

And as I watched her from a distance, I cried. I cried for all the time we lost together, I cried knowing that the little girl I saw in my head was now a young woman. She wasn't the same.

Neither am I.

We were complete strangers, connected by blood, connected by past memories and two parents. But in reality, I didn't know the girl I was looking at anymore than I knew the man beside me.

How do you deal with that reality?

How do you find comfort in seeing someone you love and knowing in the same breath that they're not the person you left behind?

Tears stole my skin, soaking my face in years of loss. I knew that if I ever left Diablo's, things would change, I would have changed, no matter how much I tried to keep who I was alive. But I never expected that the world would change without me.It had.

Redd reached into the back, softly stroking my arm, trying to ease the pain I felt. “I know this is hard, and it might get harder before it's all over. But I'll get you back to them, it's just going to take some time.”

Covering my face with my palms, all I could do was nod. I couldn't talk, I couldn't look at him, I couldn't think anymore.

I wanted everything to go back to the way it was before I was stolen. I wanted to click my ruby heels and be back home in my bed, going to sleep just like I had planned to do that night.

My nightmare hadn't ended.

And right then. . .

I wasn't sure it ever would.

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