Page 6 of Redd

I don't believe your fucking lies! You'll never stop, you enjoy it too much.

Digging his thumb into the soft flesh of my bottom lip, he forced me to look at his face. Diablo's eyes burned with fire and crackled with destruction. “Because if you don't, you're of no use to me.” Throwing my head to the side, he held out his arm, guiding me to walk in front of him. “And we both know what happens when you become useless.”

I'm dead.

I wanted to laugh in his face when he said it. I didn't need him to remind me of what I was fighting for—my life.

My bare feet tapped silently down the hall as Diablo's eyes drilled a hole into the back of my head. This wasn't how he wanted it, he wanted me to walk behind him like a fucking dog. But I made a mistake, I tried to hurt him.

It was a risk I had to take. He was walking, the same path we were walking now, his head held high and still. He had allowed me to keep my pajamas the first few nights, and I tried to use them against him.

I had pulled the string out of the pants, taking that moment of his confident steps, and using it against him. Jumping onto his back, I tried to wrap the string around his neck and strangle him.

It didn't work. Diablo was able to toss me over his shoulder and onto the floor. The string broke, snapping in two, his breathing full and not hindered. That was the moment I knew what true evil really looked like.

Those first few weeks were the hardest, his words were harsh and his hand was fierce. It still was, honestly nothing had really changed; except me, I had changed.

I made an effort to stay whole.

That small difference seemed to help a little. It gave way to what Diablo called his nicer side. But there wasn't really a big difference. He was just acting, pretending like he was the star in some grandiose play.

And somehow, I had become the villain.

He would pour false concern on me like it was the water keeping me alive. He'd hit me for screwing something up, then cleanse my wounds. He'd call me a dumb fucking bitch, then tell me how sweet I was when I did something exactly the way he wanted it.

I did my best to appease him, I tried like hell to be what he wanted me to be. But I didn't do it for him, I did it for me. The beatings only made me weaker, they caused my body to swell and hurt.

I would never be able to escape if I was broken.I won't let him break me.

I had already made up my mind. If I got the chance, I was going to kill him. There was no second thoughts about it. I spent a lot of time picturing all the ways I could do it, envisioning how it would go.

Those thoughts were what kept me full, they held my hand and walked me through the days.

I wasn't letting go of the idea to break free and take my life back; I just needed to be smarter about it. Planning, watching, learning, seeing; that's what would get me out.

Not frantic attempts to run away, not quick judgments to do him harm that landed me in the closet with broken bones and black bruises.

Patience. That was the key.

Diablo would let down his guard at some point, he would get comfortable with me and fuck something up. Maybe he would forget to lock the closet door, maybe he would leave me alone in a room, maybe he'd leave his gun on the table and not be paying attention to me.

He will fuck up, and when he does, I'll be ready.

“Over easy, Bijou, and do it right this time.” Sipping his coffee, he slurped the hot liquid with a hiss. His eyes never left my body as he sat back, taking note of my every move.

With my back to him, my eyes kept drifting to the knife block beside the stove. Temptation was a bitch. The high glint of metal taunted me, speaking soundless words and telling me to just do it.

Do it, Bijou. Snatch me up, cut him. He deserves it for what he's done to you.

He's hurt you, he's touched you when you didn't want him to. He ignored your screams and yells for him to stop, and kept going.

He deserves this; stab him, cut him, make him bleed. Show him what it means to hurt.

Do it.

Do it.

A heavy thump hit the tabletop, causing me to jerk in surprise. Glancing over my shoulder, I could see the black hole at the end of Diablo's gun.

---