Page 59 of Redd

Seeing the sky made me think of how much I missed it, seeing walls made me think of where I was kept. The sound of water made my mouth dry instantly, even the food seemed to make me feel more hungry than full.

It was like my body was in reverse, fixated on what it had grown to desire. I had turned into Pavlov's dog, salivating at the ding, just because I was trained to.

Redd's tender hand settled on mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. Looking up at him, he gave me a small smile. I could tell he knew what I was thinking. He didn't know the depth, but he knew the nature of it.

Curling his fingers, he rubbed the back of my hand, calming the tension that started to crawl over my skin. “It will all fade over time, I promise you that.” Thin lines crept up on his forehead, his smile fading into his own memories. “You'll never forget it. The scenery will change, the people will change, and you'll still carry that burden. It's what you do with it that can make or break you.”

Eyeing him curiously, I wanted him to keep talking. His advice came from experience, molded around his life. He wasn't saying it like a parent or therapist might, just to make you feel better. He had lived it.

“I can't wait for the day this all feels like a bad dream and not a reality I'm living in.” Letting my head drift to the window, our hands stayed twined together, and the engine came to life with a roar.

“All you can do is give it time.” Backing down the driveway, he threw it into drive, and we left the safety of his home.

Driving to the school, we didn't talk. The radio was on low, so at least there wasn't the silence to pick away at me.

I could tell Redd was sorting out his own thoughts. His eyes were fixed ahead, hand moving with the same slow strokes against mine over and over again, like he was stuck in some sort of repeat cycle.

I wished I could just read his mind, it would be so much easier if I could. I'd know what he was planning, and I'd know what he was running from. I wasn't sure why I thought he was running, but that's what it felt like. It was in his eyes, in his voice, in the solitude of his home.

Who are you Redd?

Watching the trees pass us by, we drove hand in hand. And I liked it, I liked the normalcy of what we were doing. I didn't recognize the road we were on at first, but as Redd took a right and we came to the first set of lights, my eyes popped open.

Holy shit, I know where we are. . . I know this place.

“Oh my God.”Whispering the words, I plastered my face to the window. “I can't believe this.”

“What?” Redd asked, looking between the road and me. “Did you see something?”

“Yeah, everything. This is where I live, this is my town.” Pressing my hand to the glass, I read every sign we went by. “The library is up here on the left, and that's Hailie's ice cream. We used to go every summer on Saturday night. I can't believe this, he kept me right here. I've been this close to my family the whole time and I didn't even know it.”

Redd sat quietly, and I couldn't get a good read on him. A part of me was excited to be here, I could go see my family. But he failed to show the same excitement I felt. His face was still, eyes staring straight ahead. His lips twitched and moved as if he was talking to himself, but there were no words.

I thought he wanted to get me back to them. . . Why doesn't he look happy about this?

“Redd?”

“What?” he asked, his question short and sharp.

“Isn't this what you said you were going to do? That you were going to make sure I was safely home with my family?”

“That's not what I meant. Not yet, not like this.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Every muscle in my chest tightened, making it hard to breathe. “You said you'd save me, so save me. Bring me back to them.”

Shrugging his shoulder, his thumb lifted off the wheel, tapping the top. “It's too risky.”

“What? How? I can go to the cops, I can finally ask my—”

“No,” he barked, snapping his head in my direction. “Not yet, you can't do anything yet.”

“Why not?” Sitting up straight, I leaned off the seat and glared at him. “They're here! I should go see them! Why would you tell me no!?”

“Bijou, you're still here and so ishe. You said—he had men working for him, you said he has his hand in a lot here. I can't have someone recognizing you and letting him know where you are. Am I really just supposed to drop you off and hope Diablo stays away? No. Just be patient, you'll see your family, but we need to actually fix this.”

“That is fixing it. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Gritting his teeth, his voice scratched out hard. “Nothing is wrong with me, Bijou. But you're not going to be safe at your home. I know that—and so do you.” Whipping his head in my direction, his brows crinkled in frustration.

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