Page 7 of Pushed

What the hell do I do?

What the fuck do I say?

He knew I had seen him, he was well aware of what I had just witnessed. I didn't know if he actually expected an answer or if it was just a question he asked on impulse.

My muscles tensed, waiting for whatever was coming next. I knew what he was capable of with just his hands, and that thought scared me to death.

I didn't want to die, I wasn't ready for that to be my last night on earth. When people say their lives flash before their eyes in a moment of certain death, it was true. Only my flashes weren't of the life I had lived, they were of the life I wanted to see.

I wanted to finish college, I wanted to get a real job, I wanted a husband and a family and a house with the white picket fence. I wanted to feel what it was like to carry a child in my belly and watch them grow up. I wanted the chance to give them advice and help guide them through a world I had already traveled.

If this is how it's going to end for me, if I'm going to go out as the girl who ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. . .

No! Think, think. Use you're fucking head, Perri!

Shaking my head, my eyes began to well up as tears balanced with grace on the thin edge of my lids. I could see the reflection of the tiny droplets as they perched beneath my eyes, teetering like a ballerina on her toes about to jump.

“I. . . I. . . I saw—” Thinking quickly, I tried to focus on him and his question. Not what had just happened, not what I had just witnessed or what I was about to lose. I focused on living, I focused on saying what I needed to in order to get out alive. “Nothing, I didn't see anything.” The words squeaked out, finding just enough lift to be heard.

“You're not a good liar, little girl.” The pads of his fingers dug in harder, sealing me in place. “You have no idea what you just got yourself into.”

I wanted to jerk myself free, but I was trapped; afraid to scream, afraid to run, afraid of him.

“I just want to go, let me go.”

“It's not that simple.” The weight of his breath fell heavy on my neck. “Fuck, why did you have to do that? Why did you have to look in here?” His eyes jumped between mine, darting back and forth in a rapid dance. “Fuck!” he yelled through grit teeth as he pounded his fist against the wall.

Wincing, my head whipped to the side. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.” Holding up my hands, I tried to push against him and shove him off me. But he was too big, too strong, I couldn't go anywhere.

“Sorry. . . Saying sorry doesn't help you, it doesn't help you at all.” The tips of his nails pierced the surface as he let out a deep growl. “Do you have any idea what you just did to yourself?”

Pepper spray! Use the pepper spray!

Shaking my head slightly, the words came out soft and delicate. “I really didn't mean to.” Slowly, I lowered my hand into the open pocket of my purse, trying to find the small bottle without moving too much. “I don't know you, I'm not even sure what I saw. You can just let me go.”

Gotcha.Twisting the bottle, I positioned my finger over the button, making sure I had it right.

“There's no going back now, you've already seen too much. If I let you go, you'll run your little mouth off, you'll talk to people that don't need to hear what happened tonight.”

“I won't, I won't say anything.”

Laughing out loud, his eyes closed as his head tipped back. “Yeah, I don't believe that for one second.”

“Fuck you,” I said under my breath as I jerked my hand from my bag and hit the button on the blue can.

The spray came out in a thick heavy stream, spreading out in a red cloud around us. Coughing, I tried to cover my mouth and nose with my free hand and continued to let it fly.

“What the fuck!” Yelling, he gripped my throat tighter, completely opposite of what I expected him to do. Wiping his face with his forearm, he struggled to breath, coughing hard. “That was a stupid fucking thing for you to do.” Pointing his finger in my face, a small smile perched on his lips. “Stupid little girl.”

I wanted to scream in his face, tell him that he was wrong and to let me go. But I couldn't talk, his hand was wrapped too tightly around my throat.

Sounds escaped my lips, they were raspy, gurgling noises, spitting and seeping like a broken faucet, but they weren't my voice.

Looking down on me with watery eyes and red streaks across his face, his smirk spread wider. “Nice try though, I'll give you that much.”

My eyes were stinging, my chest burning from lack of oxygen and the hot dust I had just taken in. Softening his gaze, he let his head drift over his shoulder then glanced down at his watch.

Looking at the door, his eyes rolled towards the back of the room. “Alright, here's what's going to happen—”

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