Page 69 of Pushed

Fumbling with my fingers, I dug my toe into the floor and watched him. He looked tired and frayed as if he had just fought a war and was still reliving it inside his head.

“What's wrong? Are you alright? I thought something happened to you. Where the hell have you—”

Holding up his hand, he dropped his head into his chest. “Not now, we're not doing this right now.” Stalking forward, he picked up the mattress and tossed it back onto the bed. “You need to know something.”

The room tunneled, spiraling into a tight funnel and sucking the air from my lungs. His face was sunken in, light purple circles rested under his eyes, shadowing his lids like dark pools.

“What?” I asked, holding my hand to my chest and feeling my ribs rise and fall.

The way he was acting made me nervous. I couldn't help but wonder if things that had changed. Did the rules change? Was I being transferred from him to another man for training?

He sat in silence for far too long, staring down at the floor. Folding my hands together, I took a step closer. “What is it? Tell me, Machi.”

“It's here, it's time, the auction is tomorrow and you're in it.”

Relief flooded my veins, causing the knots in my gut to flutter with excitement. “Okay, that's good isn't it? I—I meanwewill finally be able to leave, right?”

The sooner they had the auction, the sooner he could buy me and we could be done with this fucking place. Why did that deserve the same delivery you might give someone if their loved one had passed?

“Leave?”Tilting his head, his eyes bounced up to mine. “No,wearen't going anywhere together. Why would you think we'd be leaving?” His eyes hooded and his brows twitched as confusion filled his face.

“You're going to buy me, right? If you bought me then no one could tell you what to do with me. That's your plan, isn't it?” Pleading with my eyes, his face went still, crushing all the hope I had left.

He's not leaving with me. . . He doesn't plan on buying me.

How diluted was my mind to think that he was the one who was buying me?

False hope was a horrible thing. It held you high, it made anything around you not matter as long as the end result worked in your favor.

I was wrong, and Machi didn't even need to say the words out loud for me to realize it. But I wanted to hear him say it, I wanted him to tell me why he couldn't do the only thing that would secure my future.

“You're not going to buy me, are you?” Lowering my eyes to the floor, I stared at my feet.

“Buy you? I can't buy you. That's not how it works. I'm not supposed to touch you, never mind fuck you, so no, buying you is out of the question.”

All my faith flooded out of my body, spilling from the tips of my toes and seeping through the floor. I felt lost as he shredded my life like a piece of paper and dropped the tattered fragments at my feet.

If he wasn't the one buying me, then he couldn't make any guarantees that the man who would will ever let me go.

He lied to me.

He made false claims to give me hope, to work me over and make me listen.

I'm so fucking stupid!

“There's nothing I can do to stop it, Imperial.” His thumb stroked over his throat, digging into the thick muscle surrounding his neck. “But, if you do everything like I told you to, you'll be fine.”

My blood percolated under the skin like hot coffee, flaring with hate and bubbling with a bitterness that erupted over the surface.

Veering my stare, I squinted through heavy lids. “Fuck you, I'm not doing it.”

“You don't have a choice.”

Digging my fingers into my palms, my arms went stiff by my sides. “You don't get to tell me what choice I have. What about getting me out? I thought you said—”

“I know what I said.” Closing the distance between us, he leaned into my ear. “Please, I need you to trust me.”

“Trust you!” Slamming my hands into his chest, I shoved him. “You're a fucking liar! I should have never listened to you in the first place!” Pushing him again, I bared my teeth. “Was this a game to you? WasIjust a game to you?”

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