Page 36 of Pushed

“Yes, you'll still be here, no one's going to hurt you, I won't let that happen. I told you that.” I needed her to believe me, to trust me.

I wasn't going to allow her to question how much longer before she was sold. I needed her to be strong, to be filled with all the hate and ill feelings she had flooding her veins the days before.

Without that strength, she'd never make it out, she'd fall into the pit that rested at her feet. The second she turned from steel to sand, the moment she truly gave up, I wouldn't be able to stop what came after.

I needed her to forget about what she thought she knew and not give up on herself, regardless of what was coming her way.

I could promise her protection, I could promise her no one would touch her, but I couldn't promise her sanity if she let this world dilute her mind.

And she'd never forgive me for that.

I'd never forgive myself for that.

Fuck, Imperial!

Don't let it go!

Watching her for a moment, I tilted my head into my shoulder. “Where's the girl from yesterday?”

“That girl is gone and all you're left with is what you see now.”

“How does it just disappear overnight? How do you go from wanting to throw yourself through a pane of glass, to nothing more than an empty shell? You're not weak, Imperial, you're a lot stronger than you think.”

“Don't you dare tell me what I am.” Eyeing me with a sideways glance, her lips pulled in tight. “Why don't you tell me how you go from promising me protection, to getting me off, to pulling the ground out from under my feet? Whoever I was is gone and it's your fault. I didn't ask for any of this!”

I wanted to scream in her face that she had to hold what she felt, that she needed to cradle it with as much passion as her heart could allow. But I couldn't. She had to do it on her own, there was only so much I could do for her.

My role had to stay the same, I had to be the asshole prick who pushed her along, who forced her to learn and beg and not defy the orders given.

Is that the only thing you want from her?

No. . .

But it doesn't matter, that's not for you to take.

What happened during the auction was a weak moment, it was a hiccup in the world I had deposited myself into. I let myself get sucked into her body, drowned in her need and desire. Her curves teased my cock, her soft skin and airless moans fed my arousal.

And I was lucky as shit no one caught me with her pussy in my hand.

I wasn't supposed to get close with the merchandise, never mind allow myself to taste the product. That agreement was one I followed, not once did I touch any of the other girls more than was necessary to train them.

One touch, one kiss, one ride. . . And I'd never wake up again.

But Imperial made me forget the rules, she made me lose sight of where we were and who I was supposed to be. And getting close, that would only lead her to a broken heart.

I planned on protecting her, but that's where it ended, it was just for her. My life. . . My life was already over.

That can't happen again.

“What happened last night was a mistake.”

“Which part? The part where you touched me or the part where you let me enjoy myself until I found out it was an auction?” Dragging her hands down her cheeks, her mouth stretched open as she sighed. “Or was it when you forgot to mention thatI was for sale?”

“Imperial, I'm not going to apologize for keeping anything from you or for giving you pleasure when you needed it.” Rubbing my forehead, I raked my fingers down my throat. “I never meant for it to happen that way, but it did. That doesn't mean you can shut down, what you know now doesn't have to make you crash and burn.”

Rolling her eyes, she let out a dry, condescending laugh. “Are you fucking serious?” Resting her wrists on her forehead, she closed her eyes. “It's too late, I'm fucking burning at the stake. And after what I learned. . . Imperial, she's never coming back.”

Shaking my head, I gripped her chin and forced her to look at me. Her eyes filled, glossing over, ready to spill free. But she held it in, forcing her tears to stay in place, replacing the water with anger.

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