They wouldn't be completely wrong, I still kept her here, I still didn't make that phone call to claim the reward for information on her disappearance.
Resting one hand on the wall, I gripped the knob with the other and pulled the door open slowly. “What? What do you want?” I asked, keeping my eyes on the ground.
“What do you think I want?”
Her voice swept through my mind, flicking on all the lights and shocking my system. Snapping my head up, my lids opened wide, mouth pulling taut. “What are you doing here?”
Her hand came up and swept over my chin, stroking my beard. “Why do you think I'm here, Pax?” Smiling, Vera stepped in closer, wrapping her arms around my waist and snuggling into my chest.
Pushing her shoulders back, I eyed her through slit lids. “You shouldn't be here.” Stepping backwards, I scratched my head. “Not after what I did to you.”
“What you did to me?” Cocking her head, her hair fell around her face, gently sweeping over her cheeks. “You didn't do anything to me except save me.”
She looked more amazing right then than any of the other times. I wanted to grab her face and kiss her, I wanted to scream at her for coming back, I wanted to lift her off her feet and toss her on the couch, taking her again and again.
I did none of those things. Instead I let out a husky laugh and shook my head.
“Save you? I held you here, I kept you from your family so I could have you all to myself. I'm not a man, I'm a coward. Nothing I did was for you, it was all for me.”
“You're wrong.” Her face held sympathy, sorrow, sadness for a man that wasn't worth feeling pity for. “What you did—”
Cutting her off, I growled. “What I did was unforgivable. You need to leave, Vera, go back home to your family.” Holding out my arm, I pointed out the door. “Go home, that's were you belong, not here.”
I wasn't sure why I wanted to send her away when all I wanted was for her to be here. It was all I thought about, but that's all it was, just a thought. Dreams and reality sometimes mingle, they sometimes cross into a bittersweet second in time.
That didn't mean it was true, that it was fate.
Sticking her hand into her pocket, she plucked out a small crumpled piece of paper. “Did you mean everything you wrote?”
“You actually read it?”
Shaking the paper in my face, tears began to roll down over her cheeks as she asked again, “Did you mean everything you wrote?”
“Every word, Angel.” Lifting my hand to her chin, I ran my thumb over her bottom lip. “Every word.”
Scrunching the note into her palm, she wiped her cheeks and sniffled. I could see her chest lifting in quick jerks as her heart broke inside. I was causing her more pain, more agony, more memories worth forgetting.
“This is what I didn't want, I didn't want to hurt you. I just thought you deserved some sort of explanation for what I did. I wasn't thinking, I wasn't using my head, but I meant every thing I wrote in there.”
Vera stood in front of me, her eyes streaming a waterfall of tears as her nose wrinkled and wiggled. “Thank you.”
Snapping my hand up, I barked, “Don't, don't thank me. I made you promises I couldn't keep, I kept you from the people you loved, I'm not a good man, Angel, I don't deserve it.”
Driving her arms around my waist, she hugged me tight, laying her head against my chest. “I forgive you.”
I stood like a statue, my arms hanging by my sides, my lungs freezing and refusing to take a breath.
How could she forgive me? How could she possibly ever let go of what I did?
My arms itched to be around her, knowing that one single touch was all I would need to never let her walk out that door again. But she wrapped herself tighter, she pushed her body closer.
I lost all sense of myself, I lost all my thoughts and strength to push her away. I couldn't do it any longer.
Embracing her, I squeezed her tight, kissing the top of her head. “How, how can you say that, Angel?”
Tipping her head up, her giant grin warmed my body. This was what I wanted, this was what I needed. I needed her here, I needed her with me.
Without her, without my angel, I was just a man in the woods. With her, with her I was alive.