Page 31 of Beg Me Angel

But I had to ask myself what answer could she handle?

Could she handle either one?

The strength she had was one you were either born with or had beaten into your soul since you were young. I didn't want to take that from her, I didn't want to be the reason her walls crashed and burned around her.

She could already feel the damage done to her body, she could see the bruises and the cuts, but her mind. . . That was still whole.

I couldn't help but wonder if she was already so broken emotionally that neither answer would give her comfort, it would only fuel more unknowns and fears.

She doesn't need to be scared, I'm going to make it right.

Her jaw hung open, eyes flashing wide as she looked back at the rectangle cutout. “I don't understand, tell me what you mean. Why the hell would you need a grave?”

I never meant for her to find it. I had only dug it as a safety measure, a just in case scenario forifthings went south.

But they didn't.

Telling her my reason for digging the grave would crush her. She wasn't ready to hear that, she was just waking up from a bad nightmare she couldn't remember yet. If she had to think about her own death, about how close to it she had come. . .

She never has to know.

Clutching the back of my head, I gripped my side and turned away from her. I didn't want to explain to her that it was meant for her, that the hole in the earth had been dug in case she never woke up.

I debated a lot of things after finding her that night, but the worst one was what to do if her wounds stole her away. I didn't know her name, I had no clue what happened or who was responsible.

It took a lot for me to decide what to do if she didn't make it, and giving her a quiet place to rest, a home for her soul, that was another voiceless promise I had given her.

But none of that mattered now, I could fill that hole, I could erase the horrible idea that the young vixen might be destined to sleep for eternity on my land.

Because she was standing right here; breathing, talking, living. Standing at the precipice of something that had been destined for her.

That was a bizarre image to see, to know the reason for removing the earth and to have that reason hovering above it, to have pulled that reason out from a resting spot that never came to be.

Stop thinking about it, it didn't happen.

Forcing it all away, I looked over my shoulder and realized where we were. “Come on, I have something to show you.” I couldn't find the words to tell her, I didn't have the heart to open up a conversation like that, so I decided to diffuse it with something she wanted. “It's not far, just over that ridge.”

“No.” Snapping her arm out, she pointed at the ground. “Tell me what you have a grave for, Pax. Why would you dig such a thing?” Her eyes stayed static on mine, flourishing in concern, fear, uncertainty.

The look she gave me split my heart in two, strangling my lungs and stabbing me in the gut. Her pupils dilated as her lids popped open, exposing all the white of her eyes. The fear was sitting right on the surface, skittishly darting across the black pools.

I hated it, I hated how she was looking at me. Because all that fear was directed towards me. I didn't want her to fear me, she never had to worry about me ever hurting her.

“Don't ask me this, Angel, I can't explain it. But I don't need it anymore and it won't be here much longer. So just forget about it, it doesn't matter now.”

Stepping back, she danced around the edge of the hole. “People just don't dig graves in case they need one, you had a reason, what was it?”

“Vera, you don't want to know my reason, just leave it be.” Reaching out, I gripped her wrist and drew light circles on the back of her palm. “I need you to trust me. Can you do that?”

Her hand was warm, lighting my fingers with the same snap you feel when there's too much electricity in the air and the current uses your body to escape.

I could feel her pulse on my fingertips, each heartbeat intensely thumped against the pads beat after agonizing beat, jumping between our skin.

I waited for her to move, to speak, to let me inside her head.

Was she scared?

Was she angry?

---