Page 2 of Sweet Virgin

Chapter Two

Alaska

The ground was cold and damp. Burying my feet into the sand, I plopped down and stared off into the sparkling ocean water. The sand spilled between my toes, crunching against my skin as I wiggled them in deeper.

I always loved the ocean, it reminded me of my mother. The last vivid memory I had of her was us walking down the beach, scanning the sand for seashells. I missed her, I missed everything about her.

Her hair and the way it would frizzle up when it rained, her eyes that would squint when she smiled. Even the sound of her voice was imprinted in my head even though I was barely four when she passed away.

So much time had gone by, and yet, that one day was still so fresh in my mind. Flicking a small twisted shell with my toe, I picked it up and tucked it into my pocket. Seashells had this special meaning, it was something tangible that seemed to help keep that memory alive.

I loved holding one in my hand, smelling the salt, feeling the crisp crunch of sand between my fingertips.

But everything had changed, my life had dissolved before my eyes in a matter of seconds. I never expected that one single, stupid show would destroy me the way it had.

How could I?

The past month had taken a downward spiral. I tried to accept what happened, I tried to find the good in what my father had done. But this gnawing pain kept twisting in my gut. There was nothing I could grasp onto that could help transform what he did into a different light.

He tried to use me to get what he wanted. Not once had he thought of me or how baring my virginity for everyone to watch could change who I was. My father didn't care if it would hurt me, scar me, maime me in the public's eye.

He just didn't care.

I had to get out, I needed to yank myself free of the chaos that controlled my life. And for the first time ever, I finally did something for me. I ran, hopping on a bus wearing a giant hat and dark sunglasses, praying no one would be able to pick me out of the crowd.

To my relief, it worked.

I kept my face buried against the glass, not talking to anyone else. I wanted to disappear, start over and finally be myself; even if that meant creating a new version that no one would recognize.

When I was little, I used to dream about exploring all this world had to offer. I wanted to travel the globe, visit the pyramids, feel the heat of the jungle forest, and smell the frozen air of an icy wasteland.

But I knew that would never happen. Not now.

Instead, my world would be consumed by living under the radar, I would need a new name, a new identity, a new. . .Everything.I'd have to become someone else just to go to a store in a small town, I'd have to fabricate memories that never existed, all to have what everyone else did.

Normalcy.

Dropping my head into my hands, I let out a heavy breath.I don't have a life. . .

“Excuse me, Miss?”

Lifting my face, I looked up. With the sun bursting from behind the figure, a man stood over me, his face soft and curious.

“What?” I didn't want to talk, but I didn't want to be rude either. Inside, I was wishing he was just lost and looking for directions. I could tell him I was new here and send him on his way. Then I could crawl back into this sorry hole I dug out for myself.

“You're Alaska Landry, right?”

Shit. I knew I couldn't hide forever.

I couldn't take much more of this. The questions never stopped screaming from the front page, more poking and prodding was the last thing I needed.

All I wanted was to be alone. Cameras were everywhere, my face was plastered on every magazine, in every tabloid and news story. I was the virgin who vanished.

Squinting one eye, my head fell to my shoulder. My defense system had activated, a figurative wall now divided the stranger and myself. He couldn't see it, but it was there.

“That depends, who's asking?” My back stiffened, chest tight and itching with worry.

He knows who you are. Everyone knows who you are.

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