Page 47 of Dirty Behavior

Ivy

Iwas alone. Again.

But this time it didn't bother me. Dante said he would think about talking to Sesto; Hopefully he decides to go through with it. What choice did we have?

Remo had done a great job of tearing the rug out from beneath Dante. First, he killed his father, then he sweet talked Dante's guys into becoming his minions. Everything he was doing was simply to get under Dante's skin.

And it was working.

Sesto was the only one who might be able to give us a fucking shot at having our lives back. Dante had to get over the whole fucking rat issue. I knew that we had grown up worlds apart, but this wasn't a fucking joke. We needed all the help we could get.

Why should Dante even give a shit at this point about what Sesto may or may not have said? He wasn't in that room, he didn't sit in the courtroom when the judge handed out his sentence.

And now, everything they had was gone anyway.

He wanted to talk about trust and loyalty; Dante had to take a good look at himself. He wasn't exactly the golden child, he had done something just as bad. . .Maybe even worse.

Dante had turned from obedient soldier to vigilante. He had deliberately disobeyed his father's orders and went against the grain, but he wanted to point fingers at Sesto.

Mirrored choices with a one way view.

He couldn't see the similarities between them, he refused to.

In my eyes, none of that was worth it. Family was family. Period.

My father had let a monster take me away, but I was able to find it in my heart to forgive him.Why?

Because there was absolutely no way he would have done that unless his hands were tied. I knew that, I knew my father. He wasn't a callous asshole who wanted to abandon his responsibilities and wash his hands of me.

Dante thought it was for the money, he was certain that money was the root of all evil. And no matter what the object was, money could buy anything. . .

Even me.

He was wrong.

When all of the shit we were living in was over, I was going to prove it to him. I loved my father, nothing would change that. He was a good man.

And that's exactly what I was going to raise our child to believe. People make mistakes and that's alright. No one is perfect.

Sometimes life isn't fair, sometimes choices are taken away from you, and you have to do what's best in the moment; Even if your decision could ruin someone you love.

My father made a choice, and I knew he had done it for a good reason. I had to believe that his choice was to help others, that some good had come from my hardship and pain.

Remo must have held a gun to his head. My gut was telling me I was right, I just didn't have the answer as to why.

Where did Remo fit into the puzzle, what had my father taken to owe him my virginity?

I might never get the real answer and I might have to live with that. Either way, my dad would always have my love.

Because if you don't have your family, then who do you have?

No one.

Skipping down the stairs, a smile was firmly gripping my lips. There was a different dance in my step today, a new found joy that hadn't been there in ages. I was happy.

The life growing inside me made me feel warm and excited for the future. I wondered if it would be a boy or a girl, if they would have my color hair or Dante's.

What will it feel like to be a mother?

---